altogether Beautiful...

Charming Little Girl...

2011-02-24T20:43:00.000-08:00

Well I've been watching a lot of old family videos today and yesterday (my parents are burning them to DVD, and they've been playing non-stop since the project began).

I've been shocked. Amazed. In disbelief.

I had No Idea what a charming, delightful, feminine, sensitive, beautiful little girl I was. I have always known that I am different. The words I would generally use to describe myself, especially as a child, would be loud, awkward, stubborn. My laugh was (is) loud- I didn't know how beautiful it was. People have commented on my giggle for as long as I can remember- I didn't realize it was in such a good way. I heard words like "passionate" and "full of life" as code for "obstinate" and "obnoxious." I have been wrong. Those words that people used- meant to sound like good things- really Were Good things.

I thought I was a large child. I have no idea why I thought that- my frame was long, delicate, and graceful. I had a soft, sweet voice that spoke kind and gentle words. When I got really excited and couldn't contain myself it was a delightful, joyful expression of a beautiful soul.

Obviously I wasn't a perfect child (I have to assume ;-)), but I had no idea until today how lovely a little girl I was. I cried. The heart that I have known was beautiful (I know it because I know the passion that I had for God and the tremendous love and open trust I have always had for people) was not hidden beneath an obnoxious exterior as I had thought it was. People have told me that I was delightful (my Mother included- all the time!), but I didn't know it was true.

I love that God let me see myself as He has seen me- as I was and as I am. Lovely.

Itching Fingers

2011-02-24T09:34:00.000-08:00

So I'm desperate to blog- I've got itching fingers... now I just need to come up with something profound to say.

Children are an heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is His reward! I'm beginning to see what this means- just beginning, mind you, but it is amazing.

Baby #2 appears to be thriving. "He" is squirming and kicking so much, and it thrills me every time I feel him move. Because of the potential for complications (due to my diabetes) I have a pre-natal with full ultrasound every 4 weeks. I love seeing the little person in there! (He just moved). It also draws me to pray for safety for the little one as long term effects of multiple ultrasounds on a pre-born child is largely unstudied. Being a parent takes so much faith!

Jonathan David is the most precious child currently walking the earth. His golden locks curl delightfully around his porcelain face, perfectly framing his open, pure blue eyes and flushed pink lips and cheeks. His dark, curled lashes are as long as mine, adding to his effortless perfection.
He bestows love without reserve, and receives love without fear. He is unafraid. He is pleased with himself, and unashamed of his needs. He assumes you will love him- not because of what he has done or who he is but because, well, why wouldn't you?

No wonder that God tells us to come to Him like little children, for, "of such is the Kingdom of Heaven." Let us receive God's love, because that is all we have ever known from Him. Make your needs known to God without shame- He will provide for you! Be pleased with who you are- He has made you and is pleased with you! We have done nothing to make God love us, so let us receive His love with joy- there is nothing we can do to lose it!

I am now inspired to write, but I think I would do better to compose more than one post for all the swirling inspiration :-)

Joyful

2010-12-27T06:21:00.000-08:00

So I haven't mentioned this here yet, but- we're having another baby!

I'm 13 weeks and 2 days along. I have an appointment with my high-risk Dr. on the 5th, and am praying that everything is well with the little one.

This morning when I woke up I laid my hand on my tummy (I was lying on my back). To my shock and delight I could feel EXACTLY where the little one was! He (or she) was curled up in a ball below and to the left of my belly button. He was Right There! I could cup my hand over the bundle of joy and feel nearly all the way around him. I called Jonathan over, and he could distinctly feel the baby as well. It was so wonderful! I was suddenly struck with curiosity, so I pulled my head and shoulders up (remaining on my back) to look at my tummy- sure enough there was a bulge on my lower left side, a good inch and a half higher than the right! These things do make me happy :-)

I am a joyful mother.

On Turning 27

2010-10-09T09:08:00.000-07:00

First of all, I would like to say that I believe 27 to be a most beautiful number. In separating myself from years past and years to come I am not at all apprehensive on turning this age. I think answering "twenty seven" to the question of my age will be a delightful experience.

I was distraught, yesterday, at the prospect of adding a number to my official years. I really and truly do not like the idea of aging. it gives me a sense of urgency to DO something, to ACCOMPLISH something so that I can somehow validate my time and existence. I always feel like I haven't done enough, and therefore have not earned another year or, worse yet, that I have wasted one.

This morning, though, my husband took me out to breakfast. We went to Cracker Barrel. Cracker Barrel is a very grown-up place to breakfast (from the look of our fellow diners, perhaps a little too "grown up" for our current ages ;-)). While waiting (25 minutes) for our meals to be served, Jonathan asked me about my last year. In his words, "How's it been?"

That question got me thinking. And talking. And as I was talking, I understood better what I was thinking. Those of you who know me understand. :-) I have had an amazing year. Better yet, I have a remarkable life. This year, I have raised a son. Of course this is a process which is just beginning, but one that brings a tremendous amount of joy and satisfaction. I have learned so much about God and even about myself as I have given my love, time, and energies to this precious little one. He has bright, clear blue eyes and blond locks that curl at the ends. He has porcelain skin, rosy lips and cheeks, and long, dark eyelashes. Seriously, is there any better combination for a little child?

This year, I have better learned who I am as a woman. I am very happy about these discoveries. I've just begun the book "Captivating," which I have owned for about 4 years and stoutly resisted (don't tell me who I am, thank you- you've never met me). I cannot wait to read more. Guess what? I AM Beautiful! I really am. And I am worth discovering, and I am worth fighting for, and I am worth protecting, and I am captivating and deep and wonderful right down to the core of who I am. Realizing that it is ok not only to want these things, but to Be these things, to Know these things about myself is very liberating. How foolish for a powerful and valorous and masculine man to attempt to hide his manliness- that is who he is. How foolish for a beautiful, captivating, fascinating, compassionate and wonderful woman to attempt to hide her qualities- much more to even deny them to herself. They describe who she is. Who I am. Wow, how amazingly wonderful to know.

This year, I have learned again what amazing friends I have. Really, truly amazing friends of the highest possible caliber. Friends who encourage me when I am distraught. Friends who laugh with me when I am silly. Friends who drink coffee (or tea) at Starbucks with me. Friends who are willing to work through misunderstandings because they value me as a person, and they value our friendship. Friends who keep high standards for themselves as persons. Male friends who are gentlemen, respectful, moral, and masculine. Female friends who are strong, gentle, intelligent, and feminine. I am amazed at people I know and honored by those who have chosen me as one of their friends.

My husband is an incredible man, and I am an enviable woman. Some think we are an odd match. Sometimes I am some :-). He is strong and kind, intelligent and reserved, determined and committed. He lives on the moral high ground. He set his camp there long ago and has since laid his foundation and built his house. He invited me to move in and together we are making it our home. The man I married always, Always, Always does what is right, no matter the cost. I could not have more respect for him. He wants to know me and understand me. He desires to love me how I need to be loved, so he has made it his mission to find my hearts desire and give it to me. Seriously, ladies- could I ask for anything more?

I am altogether beautiful, altogether blessed, altogether lovely and altogether loved. Thank you all for your love and friendship on my 27th birthday!

Love,
Shannon

He heareth my cries in the night...

2010-09-26T23:12:00.000-07:00

And He runs to me, and He answers me, and He speaks blessings upon me, and He sings over me, and He holds me.

I know this, for if I, being evil, know how to give these things to my son with joy when he cries in the night, how much more will my Father which is heaven give these things to me when I cry?

What a joy, what an immense joy and honor to be a mother. I feel as though I have begun to understand the Father-heart of God 10000x better because of my little boy, Jonathan David, Gift of God, Beloved son.

Thank you, Lord. I love you.

I cried a lot today

2010-09-23T20:26:00.000-07:00

I guess it's just been one of those days. I cried this morning, I sobbed (more than sobbed) this afternoon, I cried this evening, and I'm tearing up now. Some things have been worth crying (weeping) over, others... not so much.

I'm considering, perhaps maybe, leaving facebook. If not leaving, just leaving it alone. I feel kind of angry about it. I'm not allowed to be me, not allowed to post what I think, what I feel, what I believe, without people who never or rarely actually talk to me demanding that I justify myself. What?? And I cannot say what I think in response to that, or I'll get an whole other group of people correcting me. It really (really really really) hurts.

-----What this post is actually about-----
I prayed for the judgment and destruction of America today, through uncontrolled weeping. I've never done that before in my life. I saw an image of a beautiful, perfect, mangled baby boy- 'aborted' at 21 weeks old. We don't deserve mercy. We as a nation have let this happen. We as Christians have allowed this to continue. Our Righteous God ought to open the earth and swallow this country into hell, just as he did Korah and all that followed him. The blood of our children is, I believe, literally crying out to God for vengeance. I am fearful of the vengeance of Almighty God, but it seems that to pray for anything less would be like asking for mercy from the courts for an unrepentant child molester. Asking for mercy demeans those who were harmed.

I don't know. I really don't. But I do know (for sure) that if you think Obama and his administration is somehow "judgment" on our nation, you have not got a clue what we deserve.

I am tired, I am drained, I am sorrowful.

Malachi is a very interesting read. Please stop imagining that my God is a pansy. He rejects liars and hypocrites and those called by His name that refuse to give Him His rightful place.
"If you do not listen, and if you do not set your heart to honor my name," says the LORD Almighty, "I will send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings.... Behold, I will rebuke your offspring, and spread dung on your faces, the dung of your offerings, and you shall be taken away with it. And you will know that I have sent you this admonition so that my covenant with Levi may continue," says the LORD Almighty.

Anyway, there is also mercy in Malachi, for God is complete... but I think that oftentimes, as mercy loving Christians content with our mediocrity we like to downplay the fierceness and jealousy of our Almighty God. Don't expect that you can give God a pathetic offering (of love, allegiance, obedience, etc.) and that He will be pleased with you. God does reject offerings that are not worthy of Him (don't forget Cain). In fact, unfit sacrifices are what He was responding to in the above statements.

I'm feeling really quite rather disjointed here. I am Very tremendously sleepy. But if I only post when I am entirely coherent I will probably never blog again.

Thank you for letting me say what I think, feel, and believe. If you have a Problem with any of it, please feel free to come to me privately via e-mail, or, if you choose, to post your thoughts with some sort of Scriptural backing (if you believe or claim that your thoughts are Biblically based, otherwise say whatever you think).

So sleepy...

Topics to Blog

2010-08-02T21:07:00.001-07:00

So I really am interested in writing more on here. I've decided to make a list of the topics that I have mulled over in the past year or so and have never written about.

Why I like Taylor Swift
Standards- I have none
Politicians and Grass Roots information sources insult My Intelligence
Bondage of Fear- how it disguises itself as a form of godliness
Broad, Sweeping Statements and why they are All Stupid!!
Body Image. Ouch.

Ok, so I'm sure there are more- plus a million mundane little topics that fill my days and my soul. Have I ever mentioned that I love being a mommy? Though having a 24+lb baby does have a toll on the lower back ;-)

Blessings!

Where

2010-07-27T15:19:00.000-07:00

Where does a girl keep her most precious dreams? Not in her heart, not in her mind, but in her soul.

Everybody cares

2010-05-19T21:49:00.000-07:00

How good are you at getting people to perceive you how you want them too?

I hear, or read, people proclaim all the time, "and I don't care what anybody thinks about it!" Or some variation of the statement. Well if you really didn't care, you wouldn't have to state that, would you? The truth would be self-evident.

No one thinks that they are truly ordinary, and on that point everyone is right.

No one wants to be perceived as week or needy.

Every woman, no matter how "rock n' roll," wants to be beautiful. Period.

Every woman enjoys a tasteful compliment from a good person.

I do believe that we are all hiding something.

I believe that no matter how old or young, how confident or timid, how lovely or plain, how self-enchanted or insecure we (women) are, we desperately want to be discovered. We want someone to dig deep, to draw out our secrets like Solomon's well. We want to be pursued in the same way in which we are exhorted to pursue wisdom in the Proverbs. Just switch the word "wisdom" for "a woman's heart," and you'll have a pretty good idea of how you should seek to know us. I cannot speak for men. :-)

I am aware that the sentences above are not perfectly worded and do not completely convey the meaning I intend. My need to include this statement indicates my insecurity.

When we see a very lovely woman full of grace and charm and sophistication surrounded with praise and admiration, we are just a little bit jealous- no matter how enviable our own positions are.

Obviously the statements I am making reflect severely on myself, but I really do think that I speak for many, even most, women (some of whom would probably rather I shut up and keep our secrets to myself).

I was going to state somewhere in here that I have lately felt a deep drawing to become more vulnerable again. I do not like being vulnerable, but it seems as though I am miserable when my heart is kept inside.

Blessings,
Shannon

So very happy

2010-05-14T15:37:00.000-07:00

This is my wonderful family- all of us apparently going in for kisses.

I've noticed lately that I am very happy. I suddenly realized, while talking with a friend, that I Finally have a job that I am absolutely Passionate about. I read books and articles to increase my knowledge, I test new theories and I practice new habits~ all related to my job and all because of the passion I have for it, not out of obligation. I don't get paid and I'm on the job or on call 24/7 but the benefits package is unbelievable. I absolutely Love being a wife and a mommy.

My life is full of diapers and feedings and hugs and kisses. My back is sore most of the time and, despite exercising 1-2 hours a day, I can't lose the 12lbs to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. My life is a joy to live.

I think what I consider to be interesting thoughts throughout the day. I used to post them to facebook but have become increasingly uncomfortable with the information privacy issues surrounding the social networking site.

Side note: M&M's new add campaign is to have viewers vote on their favorite M&M color, and I think it would be funny if it became a veritable political election with Republicans voting Red, Democrats voting Blue, and Environmentalists voting Green.

I'm finding myself close off a little. I'm not interested in being as open and/or vulnerable as I used to be. I write a lot of things and then delete them, either because you don't want to know or because I don't want to tell you.

I called Mars candy company today. I told the customer service rep that I adore Dove chocolates, but I hate the new "promises." Dove Dark Chocolate Promises used to have awesome, womanly statements like "You look good in red." Now they say stupid things like "Always follow your heart, it is never wrong." Are you kidding me?? As I said to the rep- "So if I'm into your husband, I should go for that?" Airheads. The rep was wonderful and I felt better after having called- I've been meaning to do that since July.

It's sleepy time now. In case you've forgotten, I absolutely adore my husband and my son!!

Liberty - it's so much more

2010-02-04T11:08:00.000-08:00

I've been going through the Beth Moore Bible study, "Breaking Free," and, first off, it's fantastic. I don't know if the study itself is so fantastic (I think it is), or if it's just fantastic to be back in the Word of God (I KNOW that is!). So anyway, this week we studied five benefits (found throughout Isaiah) that God has extended to his children. I'd like to talk about benefit 2: To Glorify God.

First to understand, what Is the "Glory of God?" I cannot begin to explain the Glory of God in it's fullness and entirety, because I cannot begin to understand the fullness and complexity of the Glory of God- especially here at the beginning of my journey. However, I'll share a taste of the glimpse I've gotten; the Glory of God is the very Likeness of God- it is powerful and strikes awe and terror into the hearts of those that behold it (Numbers 20:6), His Glory is Holy (Isaiah 6:3), the Glory of God is tangible and it seems to respond to the true worship of His servants, God's glory befuddles His people (2 Chronicles 5:13-14), Those who know God, know His glory- and talk about it! (Psalm 29:9), God is jealous of His glory- it is unique to all other things, He will not share His Glory (Isaiah 42:8), His glory is how He (Jesus) revealed Himself as God to His disciples (John 2:11), Glory is part of the very identity of God (Hebrews 1:3)!!

Isaiah 43:7 says, "Even every one that is called by my name: for I have created him for my glory, I have formed him; yea, I have made him." Now I don't know how well I will be able to communicate this, but here goes- in the past I have read the statement, "I have created him for my glory," with an emphasis on MY- a focus on God's possessiveness of His glory. Frankly I am very happy and comfortable being created purely for the pleasure of God, purely to exalt Him, purely for His own benefit, and I don't want to diminish that... it's just that this time I noticed something different. What if the emphasis is not on the word "my," but on the word "for?" For His glory. As in, "I created this jewelry box for my most precious jewels." I am not created only to glorify God, but as a place where God will put His glory! I am created to house the very Glory of God!

1 Corinthians 10:31 "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." After studying the Glory of God, this verse has a whole new meaning to me. I guess I've heard this verse used in the very relaxed context of, "do whatever you want, it really doesn't matter as long as you do it to the glory God." What?! No! This verse is an exciting exhortation- Whatever You Do- Do EVERYTHING to reflect the very GLORY of the Almighty God!! Hallalujah!!

Now, this is where it gets personal for me. My experience may differ from yours, so the truth of what I'm about to share may have a different application for you than it does for me. I'm not talking "to" anyone in particular, I'm just sharing what God's showing me. I grew up in a conservative home, in a conservative church, using a conservative homeschool curriculum and surrounded by conservative friends. I have loved my life, my home, my church, my education experience, and my friends. Within the "group" that I grew up in many have since confessed that they always felt judged- restrained to look, act, and "be" a certain way- very much "under the law." They have since discovered "freedom in Christ" and no longer are under "the law." Hallalujah! Personally though, I never remember feeling the burden of the law. I have heard and read many testimonies of finding "liberty." My understanding of "liberty" heretofore has been the concept of not being under the law but under grace. While this is truly amazing, that we are free from the law of works, having never truly felt that burden myself it is difficult to really rejoice in its lifting.

Here is my new discovery: "when Christ is not recognizable in a redeemed life, we want to identify and allow God to treat that area of captivity!"* When Christ is not Recognizable in me- that is captivity! Recognizable how? In all of His GLORY! The Magnificent Glory of God- the Image of God- the Holiness and Wholeness of the Incorruptible God- the Manifestation of GOD in all that HE IS, Shining in every facet and corner and crevice of my simple life- THAT is LIBERTY!! THAT is FREEDOM!!!!!! HALLALUJAH!!!! That and Nothing Less!!!! The GLORY OF GOD IN ME!!!! HALLALUJAH!!!!!!!! Liberty is not merely the absence of the law, it is the presence of glory. Almighty God may I accept nothing less in my life. My I pursue, or rather allow you to pursue, every area of captivity until I am free and Free Indeed!

Amen!

*Breaking Free by Beth Moore

So much to say, whom to say it to?

2010-01-27T22:01:00.000-08:00

So here I am, it's way late and I'm going to bed. My husband and baby are both asleep, and will both be awake again much sooner than I'd rather arise. I do love them so.

I am doing a Beth Moore Bible study- "Breaking Free." I'm seeing the power of my actions and the affects that they can have on my children. I want to break free of every bond so that my children and my children's children are not hindered by my bonds! It is a very powerful motivation :-)

I had a facebook status to post, but decided not to.

I want to be like Jesus, so what is that? Jesus was not a rebel (he kept every law of the Torah and was a perfect Jew- from dress to ritual), and he was not legalistic- we know because he came to Fulfill the law and the prophets and bring freedom to captives and sight to the blind. So what was he? What distinguished him from every other man heretofore and theretofore? Perhaps it was his unbridled love for all mankind. Jesus was pious but not pretentious. Rejoicing but not drunken. Real, true humanness in the dirt - while never anything less than the Holy One, Whose train filled the Temple as angels covered their faces and feet while crying the one to the other "Holy! Holy! Holy!" Who was this man?! Who is this God. He became sin. I am made His Righteousness. He loves me where I am at, and He has no intention whatever of leaving me here. Proclaim Oh God, Freedom to this captive! Sight to this blindness! The acceptable year of the LORD to this servant of the Living God! Show me where I am bound, that I may Break Free!!

I love you Lord God Almighty!

New Mommyhood

2010-01-24T12:07:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness, I simply cannot get over this child of mine! (whom I affectionately call "small child," as in "Hello, small child! How are you this morning?") I absolutely adore him, which stands to reason seeing that he is absolutely adorable.

Jonathan David Jessup was born on September 20, 2009, at 10:40pm. His due date was October 10, but we just couldn't wait to meet one another. Jonathan David weighed 8lbs 5oz at birth and was 21.5" long. He was born a very healthy boy.

He has since learned to eat, hold his head up straight, watch TV (I wish I was joking), sleep through the night, smile and laugh, not cry when his diaper is being changed, raise himself up with his arms and look around while lying on his tummy, put his pacifier in his mouth, grab mommy's hair/thumb/shirt, chat up a storm in "baby", complain when frustrated, spit long distances, stretch when tired or waking up, yawn, and generally wrap everyone he meets around his tiny, strong fingers.

I am getting more informed on American politics than I was able to be in China- much to the chagrin of my husband :-). We have a dog, temporarily, who is a sweet lovable thing that annoys everybody.

My husband and I are currently discussing investment strategies :-) Actually, we have taken a moment to trouble-shoot my mom's picture-uploading difficulties. We will be back to discussions post haste.

Life is grand with a baby in hand. Love to all!
-Shannon Jessup

Happy Anniversary to Us! :-)

2009-03-11T03:07:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday Jonathan and I celebrated our first anniversary together. It was heavenly. We have also officially lived in China as a married couple longer than we have lived in the US. Amazing.

China has been quite an adventure... learning the markets where we can haggle over everything from the price of broccoli to the price of a pair of shoes. Most of my winter wardrobe was purchased for $7 or less per garment. Fun! I have found though, unfortunately, that my feet are simply not a standard Wenzhounese size. Apparently even in China Wenzhou is known for small feet. They are also a huge manufacturer of shoes which only adds insult to injury- you should See the selection of shoes (literally thousands of styles) for prices even I can afford that I do not have access to because of my strong support system (my feet). :-P Oh well :-)

I've also become very comfortable with my teaching schedule and students, which has made this semester much less stressful than the last. PTL!

Now I know that if I were reading my blog, and I was not me, I would probably want to hear some interesting stories or something, but since I'm the writer not the reader I am afraid I will discuss what I choose.

What does it mean to "Take a Stand" on something?

Facebook is an intersting thing and a great tool for connecting with friends and relatives, but I've begun to see what I'm afraid will become a trend. People using facebook to "Take a stand." Notes that point out observed problems and decry their menifestations (and stating that the author is finally "taking a stand"). Status' that beg, "where are the Real Christians?"

To the status I want to reply, "What about you? Are you a "Real" Christian? Ok, well there's one you know of." To the notes... ug... is expressing an opinion really taking a stand? Especially expressing an opinion about other people's behavior?

"Abortion is wrong and immoral and it should not be legal." There. I just stated my firmly held conviction. Did I take a stand? I really don't think so. Now, if I were on trial for holding such a belief and there were real consequences for such a statement then yes, perhaps that would be "taking a stand." And maybe some of my friends or relatives would be very offended by my belief and challenge me to defend it. Would holding to my convictions be taking a stand? I don't know, maybe. But "Taking a Stand," doesn't that imply doing something? Like volunteering at a Crisis Pregnancy Center or an agency that provides counsel and support to confused and hurting women. Or even, volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters or Novo Ministries or even Character First! to help the kids who may otherwise become tomorrow's statistics. Isn't this a much more meaningful way to Stand? To actually Do?

On the playground, taking a stand against bullying is not just not being a bully, or even telling the bullys to leave the uncool kid alone, but being the friend that that kid needs.

BE the change that you want to see in the world.

-Shannon

P.S., in writing my observations and opinions I am not actually "taking a stand" against empty facebook "Stand Taking." Unfortunately. Because this was much easier than actually talking with the people who inspired the post. We'll see if I have the courage for that.

Fun Stories! Not all mine :-)

2008-09-28T22:49:00.000-07:00

Guess what?! Bars are fun! We went to the loudest, craziest small-town bar last night. We went to a really cool Chinese street (old China, I guess?)... anyway, Lounes took us to this crazy bar where he knows the owner. As soon as we walked in the owner shooed some other customers away from a table so that we could sit at it and proceded to treat us like gold for about an hour. He was the sweetest, happiest old man of all time- shouting and laughing and talking about love (he made some really good points- love is not complicated. We must all love one another, to do anything else is illegal and you should be shot... if you love me you must love my wife and my sons, if I love you I must love your wife and your famliy, etc.) and his "Aunties," (Jessica and I both). Then he hugged Jess and kissed her cheek ;-) He really was a wonderful man, I guess his company got a $6,000,000 order yesterday and he was pretty pumped. He is a friend of Lounes. It was So Fun! I've never seen Lounes laugh so much. The owner brought us all beers but Lounes told him we didn't drink, so that saved us from an uncomfortable situation. The place was so loud and so fun! The owner has been to the States, and to OK where he got a real, leather cowboy hat that is his pride and joy- he tried it on each of us :-) He was absolutely adorable. Jonathan has some pictures that I hope turned out great. I hope that we go back in order to develop and maintian relationships with the people that God is brining into our lives.

---

Then, when we finally left, we went to a tea house- very pleasant. Then Lounes found out another friend was upstairs, so we were all ushered into a fairly small room with a large table and 5-6 people all smoking and drinking. We stayed until 12:25 just laughing and talking and pretending to understand :-D. The friend of Lounes used to be in charge of the Wen Zhou mafia but now like caligraphy and water color... he said his heart went from black to red (feeling) and he was absolutely delightful. He invited us to his villa on a semi-private island that we can see Taiwan from. It has a beach and everything and we are not to bring any money. I think that we are going there tomorrow afternoon and staying the night... we shall see. He was wearing this amazing jade necklace (jade beads with a huge jade pendant) and apparantly plans to have necklaces made for us as well. I guess his art is very good as it sells for 280,000 RNB ($41,000)... he also wants to do a painting for us as well! I guess if we go shopping with him most everything is free or next to nothing b/c everyone in Wen Zhou knows him. Pretty unbelievable, actually. So anyway, by the time we left the tea shop (which we found out he owns, and he helped the bar guy set up shop as well- oh yeah, the bar guy also has a lot of money and just tends because he likes to) it was just the 6 of us (JJJ&S, L, and red heart), all having a grand old time. Craziness!!

---

I taught a spontaneous class tonight (Thursday, Sept. 25) for one 6 yr old. Hakan really didn't want me to, I don't think, as a matter of principal. I wasn't scheduled to teach, I didn't have a lesson prepared, there was only one student. Plus he was really mad because the parent (dad) threatened to either sue, or un-enroll his daughter. Apparantly money threats usually work in China. There was a mix up and I don't know whose fault it was, but Hakan basically said I was 100% free to refuse to do the class and he would back me up completely. I went ahead and did it because, well, I was bored And because I Really like working with kids one on one, even more than in groups (as you know). So he told me, basically, don't you dare take a book in there- play some games with her and teach her whatever you want, or nothing- THIS IS NOT A CLASS! He wasn't being mean, he just wanted to make a point. My only requirement for teaching her was that her parent not be in the room- too awkward. I taught her head, shoulders, knees, toes, eyes, ears, mouth, nose, right hand, left hand, right foot, left foot- and then we learned applicable songs :-) (Head and shoulders etc., and the hokey pokey). She really learned the body parts though and could point to her when I said them, and could say them when I pointed to mine. I was quite pleased with myself :-) She was just darling and had a really good time by the end.

---

We all did some modeling last Sunday for a friend (Andy Gunn) of one of the head teachers here. Andy apparantly did some work in Hong Kong 14 years ago in which he had a lot of experience with foreigners- went to school there as well, I think. Anyway, Now he wants a particular job where international experience is highly valued and while he has paper evidence of his time in Hong Kong the employers want more proof- they said anyone can get a letter of recommendation. So... we went to some sweat shop on the far outskirts of town to take official looking photos with Andy for his resume.

I guess Andy's wife works for the fashion industry- designing upstairs (4th floor), laboring downstairs (2nd & 3rd floors). So we took pictures with a bunch of fancy looking clothes- very beautiful actually. After we took the pictures Andy's wife, who went with us, called me over to tell her what I thought of a particular dress. Honestly it was one of the ugliest things I've ever seen- the fabric was a nasty grey with large faded yellow polka dots, design was basically spaghetti straps on tent. I was trying to find a tactful way to be truthful- when she smiled and said, "it's for you!" So I looked delightful and thanked her profusely. Lol. I decided to try it on when we got back to the apartment- actually Jessica and Jonathan made me. It's hideous. Oh well. :-D (I'll get a picture of it on here eventually)

---

Jessica actually didn't go with us (Jonathan, Jeremiah, Tara (another English teacher) and Haikan- a Buffalonian/Long Islander), instead she got locked out of our apartment and went to some obscure Muslim restaurant down a dark ally where there were nothing but a bunch of Muslim men watching her and Lounes, a more-than-unique Algerian who speaks 5 languages and has a special, but strangely not creepy, affinity for Jessica. She said the food was delicious, Lounes blew smoke in her face the whole time, and all of the Muslim men just stood and stared at her via a huge mirror- until she looked at them when they all look away. To finish the night, Lounes ordered a delicacy, in his words, "you cannot get it just anywhere, it's very special. How you say...... cow balls." Haha! So she held her breath and ate lots of bread with it! Oh yes- Jessica got to share part of the Gospel with him! He made some comment about the Muslim religion- great scales in the sky, etc.- and how it was like Christanity, and Jessica shared with him the distinct difference. Going to heaven or hell has nothing to do with how good we are, but our relationship with Him*.

I hope this is somewhat comprehensable!

Love everyone!!
-Shannon

*Please don't leave comments that will get me investigated by the Chns Plice! We are here for a Higher Purpose and I really don't want to be sent home early because of internet indescretion! No discussion of Evnglsm, etc. Thanks!

Congratulations Leaha and Tyler!!!!

2008-09-20T23:12:00.000-07:00

I'm watching some Cambridge University video sessions on teaching young learners. He's talking about how to have a birthday party in class :-)

I was just going through my wedding pictures with one of the teaching assistants here, it was fun. I'm glad I'm married to him.

Orange Juice! Ok, so there's this automatic drink dispenser at the school which serves coffee, milk tea, and cappucino. Coffee and milk tea are 2 yuan/RNB each, and cappucino is 3. Well, I've been avoiding buying my morning beverage here because it really is a waste of money (though it's only $0.45 each). So anyway, today I caved and went to get my capp. I put my money in, selected the right button, and got a Hot orange-flavored-sugar drink! I showed it to Sherry (the HR director who speaks English quite well). She laughed and said, "Yes, the label says Orange Juice... we should write this in English, too."

I'm sorry if this was a boring story for you.

I'd really like to learn how to use the electronic teaching aids... I should ask Sherry about that.

You should comment on Jonathan's Blog, it's much more interesting than mine :-)

Bye for now!

In my life Lord...

2008-09-13T00:50:00.000-07:00

Be Glorified.

The Bathroom is CLEAN!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!
And progress is being made too on the kitchen :-)

Seriously, when we got here- oh yeah, Jonathan (my husband), Jeremiah (his brother), and Jessica (our friend) have moved to China together. Right now the four of us, plus Jenny (our new friend, interpretor, and mini-mother) are living in a good sized apartment in Wenzhou, China. To learn more about our adventures over the past week please refer to Jonathan's Blog. I am currently sitting on our very large purple couch. We washed our grey/brown curtains this morning and found out that they are actually a bright, beautiful ivory color- very lovely indeed.

We sat in on a demonstration/orientation English class last night conducted by Lunis, a long-time English teacher at the academy we will be teaching at. He was teaching 2 1/2- 3 year olds at their very first English class. The children are so beautiful!!!! I am very excited. At the same time, I don't want to teach English- I want to go home. I cried a good cry last night. I miss you mom and dad!

I am very grateful for the team that I am here with, we all get along very well and enjoy being together. Thank you Jesus!

Ok, Wally is here now. Ok, maybe I'll post pictures later. :-)

Love,
Shannon

Yayyy!!!!!!!!!!

2007-08-13T18:34:00.000-07:00

Holy Cow! Blogger let me back into my account!!!!

Ok, believe it or not I have attempted to post many times, but blogger wouldn't let me log in to my own account and update! Now I can, and I'm happy.

Ok, I'm still with Jonathan (and exceptionally happy). We're not engaged, yet. (people keep asking).

I'm working on another international conference (last one was last September). We've got registrations from Costa Rica, Taiwan, Kingdom of Swaziland, South Africa, and Uganda. Oh, and Canada. We've also got US registrations of course- the farthest state being Alaska (called and e-mailed me today, though they're not registered yet).

I took a good long walk tonight. It was hot ;-) My cute little purple grape (my car) has turned into an easy-bake-oven since I've lost my AC. Well, not lost, exactly, since I know where it went. In fact, there's a tube from the system on the floor in the back of my car (the guy promised he wiped everything down well and that it would not ruin my 12 year old carpet).

Ok, I'm watching Hannity and Colmes. I need a shower, to read "48 days to the job you love," talk to Jonathan, and go to sleep.

Bye all!!!!
~Shannon

So am I!!

2006-10-30T15:04:00.000-08:00

For details, go to the site of Jonathan Jessup.

*happy sigh*

Jonathan Howard Jessup: Handsome, Strong, Wise, Godly, Patient, Meek, Intelligent, Funny, Interesting, Kind, Steady, Bold, Firm, Obedient to the Lord, Good, Gentle, Manly, Truthful, Attentive, Generous, Relational, Likeable, Diligent, Secure, Steadfast, Righteous, Insightful, Wonderful, Marvelous, Perfect.

Oops... Hi!

2006-10-16T19:27:00.000-07:00

Hey Y'all!

Well.... I had an awesome time in DC and NYC.

Really, everything was fantastic! First, I went to Alex Mansfield's home and met his wonderful family. The little ones were exceptionally adorable and delightful, and the olders ones had such class and poise- they are a very impressive bunch. Ruth has a large dose of Audrey Hepburn- poise, grace, and a sweet demeanor. Mrs. Mansfield, Chelsea, and Ruth helped me put an ensemble together for The Phantom of the Opera- thanks ladies!

Oh yes- and Alex taught me how to make steak! I did a great job! :-) hehe...

Billy Lewis joined us after dinner, and he and Alex and I stayed up until about 2:30am if I remember correctly. Despite the best laid plans, we enjoyed our morning and made it to DC around... 12? maybe 11, on Saturday. The plan we to be there at something more like 9/9:30.

The little place we stayed at was marvelous, a delightful, luxurious hotel (bouquet?) with simple, modern, comfortable decor. My room was awesome! This huge gigantic tall king bed with an imposing headboard, a full couch, a patio looking out over the city, a desk and chair, a leopard print robe, large toilet (hehe- meaning bath/powder room :-) I'm so funny!) and a large TV/sound system. They even had Christian music playing in the room when I arrived.

Many deep philisophical conversations took place in DC. It was like a deep breath of fresh mountain air- discussing relationships, war, race, politics- all sorts of taboo/politically incorrect subjects- sometimes to a specific end, but often for the pure joy of discussion. You know, like the Greeks- all sharing and anticipating some new thing to "make their ears tingle." (to paraphrase Brother Paul, the Apostle)

Ruth's Chris had more refined steak, and I liked it better. Sorry Jeremy :( . Jeremy joined the three of us in DC. He actually rescued us from this apartment/condo complex where we had gotten ourselves lost to. We walked so much it was fantastic!!!! But eventually we got tired, and needed to hurry back to the hotel to get ready for dinner. We actually just took the scenic route to... wherever we ended up... from the National Cathedral. The Cathedral was breathtaking! It matched many of the cathedrals in Europe. It was really amazing how much more life this cathedral seemed to have, compared to European ones. Really, you walk into Notre Dame, or Sacre Cure, or the Vatacan, or the big church in London (sorry Megan, I don't remember what it's called)- and they just seem so empty. Hollow shells filled with monuments to men, and small remnants of a desire to glorify God. Something about the National Cathedral was different, though it followed the architectural pattern of Notre Dame. I think part of it was the Scripture engraved on so many of the stones. Another thing was the memorials- there were stones laid in memoriam of different people, but almost all of them were engraved first with God's praise, par example, "To the Glory of God, creator of heaven and earth, and in memorial of J. D. Haggardingly..." And then it would go on to tell how J.D.'s life glorified God, and after posting the years of his life, it would go on to quote some Scripture which truly exalted God. I just liked it.

Anyway, if anyone is still reading... NYC was very cool, the Phantom of the Opera was beyond compare. If you've seen the newest Phantom movie- imagine something 10x richer, 10x more emotional, and 10x more masterful in every way... and I found even the movie bewitching. I had never been to a live Broadway performance, so it was a completely new experience which I profoundly enjoyed.

NYC though... it was dirty, smoggy, just ok. Well... better than ok :-) I really like things clean! So some parts of the city were thoroughly enjoyable. We had rice pudding at Rice to Riches- featured on Hitch! That was fun :-) I should check out the nutritional information... hehehe :-)

The trip was fantastic and the company unbeatable... almost ;-) (I love you!)

Oh yes! And the black dress!! It worked perfectly- the overlay didn't quite happen, but Mrs. Mansfield offered me her black velvet stole for the evening which was perfectly elegant. (Thank you again!!)

Well, I'm really sleepy now.

Everyone have a beautiful night and day!

In Christ,
Shannon

New York City!

2006-09-06T18:30:00.000-07:00

Hey Y'all- I'm headed to NYC! By way of DC, and Alex Mansfield's home :-) I am really looking forward to this. We're going to eat at two of the best steak houses, I hear, anywhere. Jeremy believes that Peter Luger's of NYC is the best, while Alex contends that Ruth's Chris tops all... so we're going to put them to the test and try both.

So what do you wear to a 5-star steak house?

On 9/11 we are going to ground zero, I assume in the morning. Then Peter Luger's at 4:30. Then, we're going to The Phantom of the Opera on Broadway at 8:00!! What do you wear to The Phantom of the Opera on Broadway in NYC?? Hopefully, the perfect black dress. Yesterday over lunch Erin Swayze offered to make me a dress. She whips out formals like nobody's business, and they're absolutely stunning... so we shall see :-) Black on black- I love the idea, and we'll see if it can look as good on me as it does in my mind's eye. hehe. Oh well, whatever happens it will be fun. If it turns out well I'll try to post a picture!

I'm just so so happy. So really very happy.

God is good.

Love y'all,
Shannon

Full to Overflowing!

2006-08-07T15:34:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen I am full full full to overflowing! And no, I didn't eat too much. God is just so good. He's Marvelous! He's Beautiful! He is everything.

My dear precious friends Rebecca and Timothy were united on Saturday at 1:30 in truly Holy matrimony. God's glory filled the sanctuary as they made their vows, hearts fully and wholely reserved for each other and minds set on Christ. Nothing took from the sacred fulness of joy as Satan was bound hand and foot and the Spirit of God was released upon the whole place. As I stood there I looked at the bride and the groom, I considered the dress, the rings, the flowers, the arch, the unity candle- everything- and remembered praying through them each with Rebecca. I know the story behind each, how as each was surrendered to God He took them and returned to the bride and groom a greater blessing then they could have imagined.

Of note: when Timothy was 15 he began praying for his bride, whoever she might be. He has been praying daily for her for 15 years. In 1997 the Lord prompted him to begin writing down his prayers, so on Saturday after the vows but before the kiss, Timothy presented Rebecca with a treasure chest full of the books he has written for her- well over 3,000 letters, prayers, written and prayed to God for her. It is precious.

All of this has added to my joy, as well as other blessings God has brought into my life, but the greatest gift... is Jesus. Really! He makes me want to dance! The sermon (which I managed to stay awake for) yesterday was about the second coming of Christ. The Second Coming Of CHRIST!!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So anyway, that's what makes me happy. And I've felt like dancing all day. And I can concentrate on work (I'm not sure why it helps so much)- but that's just the way that it is.

I know I have not posted for some time, but I am very happy, doing very well.

I love you all. Some of you in particular, you know who you are (yes you! I hope everyone reading this realizes that I am talking about you- meaning everyone reading this).

God is good. All the time.

How Beautiful
by Twila Paris

How beautiful the hands that served
the wine and the bread
and the sons of the earth.
How beautiful the feet that walked
the long dusty roads
and the hills to the cross.
How beautiful
how beautiful

how beautiful is the body of Christ.

How beautiful the heart that bled
that took all my sin
and bore it instead.
How beautiful the tender eyes
that chose to forgive
and never despise.
How beautiful
how beautiful

how beautiful is the body of Christ.

And as He laid down His life
we offer this sacrifice
that we will live just as he died:
willing to pay the price
willing to pay the price.

How beautiful the radient Bride
who waits for her Groom
with His light in her eyes.
How beautiful when humble hearts give
the fruit of pure lives
so that others may live.
How beautiful
how beautiful

how beautiful is the body of Christ.

How beautiful the feet that bring
the sound of good news
and the love of the King.
How beautiful the hands that serve

the wine and the bread
and the sons of the earth.
How beautiful
how beautiful

how beautiful is the body of Christ.

Amen.

C'est impossible, mais, c'est Vrai!!!!

2006-07-10T06:10:00.000-07:00

Comprenez-vous? hehe, oh well :-)

What to post what to post...

2006-06-09T22:58:00.000-07:00

Hi Y'all! Well, Chris Killman (he should meet Alex Mansfield) has been in town since yesterday afternoon. It's been so good to see him again- I haven't seen him since August '04! One of those friends that you just stay friends with forever, he's a great guy. And I met him at at the TC. So I was in the parking lot and this really conservative looking family is outside unloading their van (probably here for the Greenlaw/Copu wedding), and I'm on the phone with Chris, who tells me he's also in the parking lot- I got out of my car and looked around. There in the corner of the lot I see his Jetta- and I go tearing off across the lot in my long khaki skirt and run into his arms as he gets out of the car! It was just funny. Then we walked in together and I showed him my office and he met my boss and he saw some people from my church who haven't seen him for years. It was really fun. Then... oh I can't tell this story. Bummer, 'cause it's really funny! Maybe I can get it approved :-)

Anyway, we've had a nice time. I may see him again tomorrow morning, but I'm not sure where he's staying the night. We have a spare bedroom which he was supposed to stay in last night, but he decided to sleep in a chair in the living room instead. Mark slept on the loveseat and Brian slept on the floor- the full bed in the spare room was never touched! Crazy guys. I guess they fell asleep during a movie. Oh well :-P

I have deep thought-provoking questions which I will not now ask.

Goodnight all!
~Shannon

I'm My Favorite Drink!!!!

2006-05-31T20:35:00.000-07:00

You Are a Frappacino

At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern

At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent

You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet

Your caffeine addiction level: low

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Happy!

2006-05-29T15:33:00.000-07:00

My heart is HAPPY!!!!
Not sure what made the difference, except God. I was sitting on my porch feeling just down and sad, and I realized (duh) that my joy comes from the Lord!
So I asked Him to work in me and give me joy, and then I read the entire book of Proverbs (so cool!!) and my heart just got happier and happier.
I'm very grateful for the day off.
Happy!
:-)

today...

2006-05-28T12:16:00.000-07:00

My brother is in the United States Navy.

Today is Memorial Day, and I cried a lot during church. A wonderful young man came up and gave me a hug while I was crying, in direct answer to my prayers. I love the family of God.

Daniel Fagala told me that my brother, Luke, has been the greatest influence on his spiritual walk, and that he loves him and is praying for him. He said that at times Luke has impacted him even without saying a word. Luke is a man that follows God openly and in secret. He's in the Navy and I'm proud of him.

Today I remember Peter Wagler, a hero, killed in action.

Thank you Peter. Thank you Luke. I love and honor you both.

2006-05-27T20:48:00.000-07:00

If Jesus had a blog, what would he post?

my heart...

2006-05-27T16:45:00.000-07:00

My heart is sad.

I don't really know why. Nothing terrible has happened.

Two nights ago was very joyful!! Three friends sat in a beautiful place and shared the love of God together. There we sat, on a bench, for almost two hours... and I don't think there was any other place any one of us would have gone to if we could.

God's love is so deep. He gave Rebecca a beautiful present today! I was on the phone with her to enjoy it. God is so good.

Behold, the Bridegoom cometh! And we run forth to meet Him. But the glory is in the Bridegroom, Himself, not in our joy, not in our meeting, not in our running- in Him. Himself. The BRIDEGROOM.

I am the bride of Christ. Why? I will never understand.

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim
in the light of His glory and grace."

I love you all. But most of all, I love Christ. Glory to God that He has made me righteous in His presence, and that He will perfect that which He has begun, and that He WILL present me as a SPOTLESS, PURE bride to Christ Jesus His Son.

I will be perfected in Christ Jesus.
Amen!

Proverbs 14:1

2006-05-24T19:16:00.000-07:00

"Every wise woman buildeth her house, but the foolish teareth it down with her own hands."

God is so good, and so powerful, and never easy. His yoke is easy and His burden is light, but the path of Christ leads us first to calvary, then to the right hand of the throne of God.

I am confident, and rejoicing, in God's work and plan for my life.

I went to Rigoletto's with Toni and Lauree Beth today! It is a lunch stop in the tunnels underground OKC. I saw my friend, a beautiful, black, almost-75, "big momma" type woman. I really need to learn her name, she doesn't know mine either, but she is truly a delight and I and my friends always seem to bring a bright ray of sunshine into her day. Today when she looked up and saw me she came hurredly out from behind the counter and gave me a bear hug! That woman can hug :-) I am so grateful that she is finding the joy of God in her life, and that I can be there to see Him in her eyes and smile.

a journey...

2006-05-23T21:37:00.000-07:00

I am beginning a journey. I don't know where the path will wind, but I know where I want to go... I want to go to the heart of God. I haven't packed very well, but I don't need much. Just my Jesus, my Bible, a heart willing to follow... and my body under subjection. This last item is the hardest, but the most neccessary, at this time I believe, in knowing God in a new way. How else can we identify with the sufferings of Christ?

Pray for God's strength for me. Pray for His grace, His unmeritted favor. I want His strength perfected in my weakness.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." ~2Corinthians 12:9

Goodnight!

I'm just American!

2006-05-19T01:37:00.000-07:00

Your Linguistic Profile::

75% General American English

10% Dixie

10% Yankee

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

God is So Good

2006-05-07T21:51:00.000-07:00

Jesus, You are beautiful beyond description, too marvelous for words, too wonderful for comprehension, like nothing ever seen or heard. Who can grasp Your infinant wisdom? Who can fathom the depth of Your love? You are beautiful beyond description, Majesty! enthroned above! Holy God, to Whom all praise is due, I stand in awe of You.

There are not words to express my soul to God at this time.
He is too magnificent.
Just know that I love Him.
And He loves me.
And He loves you, too, more than you will ever know.

No right to blog

2006-05-03T21:34:00.000-07:00

I have no right to blog right now, as I have only completed 10 hrs. of my 11 hr. per day work/study program to complete all of my assignments by Monday! And yet, here I sit, strangely inspired to blog by the imminent, pressing need to study.

Yes, I know, my brother is good looking. Excuse me, "brother's Are good looking." Don't be jealous, there handsome-guy enzymes in the country water here at home... maybe that's what happened...

I did finish the first draft of one paper, I guess I'll see if it's any good tomorrow. Tomorrow I write a researach paper. I am planning on writing the entire first draft before I go to bed tomorrow night. I think I can do it. No, I'm sure I can.

Sisters are great. If you have a sister, you should call her.

God has been so phenominally good lately, I cannot even begin to describe it. I had a good weekend, a really, really good weekend.

Have you ever thought about God in the context of/ in relation to/ the universe? Driving home on Saturday night I was brought to tears as a friend explained the magnitude of our universe. Stars, so far away, that it takes years for their light to reach the earth. Every single piece of sky is blanketed with stars- there is no spot in the night sky that is not filled with a star which you could see if only you had a telescope big enough. What of other universes? What of other planets? What of other life? God is So BIG, so ENORMOUS, so POWERFUL, so CREATIVE, so MASTERFUL... and of all of his creation, he is OUTSIDE of it! Our very reality was created by God. Our entire universe is inside a box created by Him, and He is outside of it, unrestrained, unrestrainable. Every thing we see, everything we create, was first created. By all things came into being, and without Him was not anything made that was made. We create nothing, we just move things around. As my friend was talking I began to feel so... small, realizing how insignificant not only I am, but my entire earth, my entire reality, my entire existence and all of the things around me. But then, in the heart of that moment, I heard in my heart and in my ears... that I am significant- because I am significant to God. I realized, For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son. And He has a plan for our lives. And we are equipped to fulfill it, not because of us, but because of Him.

Oh that men and women would realize this!! Anyway, about an hour + conversation which was one of the most moving I have experienced in a very long time. From the expance of the universe, the fiber of the very molecules and adams with which all is created. Just unbelievable. I prayed last night that that conversation would be written down and kept in the record of God. I cannot remember every word or every detail, but I wish that I could, and I hope that sometime, someday, God will bring back the words that were spoken and the truth that was revealed to my heart.

I have so much more to say, esp. about God Himself, but for now... I will simply keep His commandments. In what other way can we glorify Him?

2006-04-28T14:20:00.000-07:00

Greetings Friends!

Well I do know that it has been quite some time, and while my brothers are both still fabulous, I shall update.

I went to a concert last night at Oklahoma City University. Their symphony orchestra performed an introduction from "The Bartered Bride" which I really liked. I recognized the composer, but I don't remember his name. Then they played four more pieces from some other symphony which I did not much care for. I'm really good at this review stuff, aren't I? Last week I went with Rebecca and Jonathan to Oklahoma Christian University, where we heard a brass ensemble play various types of music which I enjoyed to different degrees. I will have to review my notes when I write my essay on it :-)

I have not been very studious lately for which I have a perfect explanation: I don't like to study.

I am excited about hearing Kyle Dillingham play with his band tonghit at The Red Door coffee shop! I like Kyle and have not seen him in a while, plus I love to hear him play.

My fabulous brother, Matthew, is going to the Jr./Sr. banquet and after-party tonight with a few friends. He's got a new suit and a brilliant, sky-blue tie. He's going to look fantastic.

God is so gracious! I went to the Dr. on Wednesday... and I'm doing well! Hallalujah! This may sound strange to some of you- don't you expect to be found doing well on a routine check-up? Well, I was afraid that some of the blisters that I get on my feet were, or would cause, complications because of my diabetes. Dr. Jonathan said that they were nothing to worry about. I was afraid that my need for glasses was a result of diabetes complications. Dr. Jonathan said my eyes were great. (woohoo! I have great eyes!). My thyroid is being tested and so are my kidneys, but Dr. Jonathan thinks that the kidneys are fine, and all I have to do for my thyroid is take a bigger pill :-) I like Dr. Jonathan. He has pretty eyes. Oh yes, and my blood sugars have come down Considerably!! Truly, Praise the Lord!

Anyway, I could gab all day, but I won't. I just want to praise the Lord for a difficult and marvelous week!

Bye!!

My Fabulous Brother!

2006-04-08T15:43:00.000-07:00

Congratulations, MATTHEW, on your full scholarship for a four year degree at any college in the state!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's really awsome, OU has a 6-year program for physical therapy, which is what Matthew wants to do, and he'll walk away with a DOCTORATE!! Yes, that's right ladies and gentlemen, Matthew is planning to get his doctorate. He'll be 24. I have an awsome brother.

He got a leadership scholarship. It is based on ACT scores and several interviews. Matthew found out about the opportunity and then totally took total initiative- finding all the details of how to apply and then following through. He was diligent to accomplish all of the requirements in time, and his maturity was evident throughout his interviews. Matthew is a very kind and personable young man, and his wise use of God's giftings and talents has caused him to gain favor with those in authority.

I am very, very proud of you Matthew! I hope you don't mind me bragging on you- but I think you're incredible.

Drum Roll Please.................

2006-03-31T11:33:00.000-08:00

Luke got the billet he wanted!

He's going to be on a Submarine with the home port of Pearl Harbor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WooHoo- Congratulations Luke!

Everybody who has his contact info should look him up and congratulate him!

I know where I'll be next summer...

:-)

Love

2006-03-27T21:41:00.000-08:00

Dearest All,

I am simply overwhelmed by both the riches and greatness of God's love. How fathomless is God, and His ways are past finding out.

Alex mentioned in a previous comment that when a letter is signed, "love to all," or something like it, that "all" or "each," feels loved in a general sense, as part of a group.

So then, how do you feel God's love? Do you feel loved in a general sense, as in part of "the world?" Or do you feel that God loves you, personally, and in a unique way from all the world? I am not looking for a correct answer, I am looking for the truth. The truth is not always right.

What do you Feel? Also, How do you feel God's love?

Blessings,
Shannon

"Study, or go to bed"

2006-03-24T19:39:00.000-08:00

"Mom, what should I blog about?"
"I don't know. If I knew, I'd have my own blog. That's why I go to your blog."
"Hmm... oh I know what I'll say!"
"Wait, no. Don't blog. Either Study, or go to bed."
Ok I suppose I won't blog.

But first, I would like to say, what a wonderful day, it has been.
I updated my profile.
I went to work and finished the Character Community Network Update with the Magnificent Toni Swayze! Kudos to Toni!!!! And thank you, Father, for so gifting and inspiring her. :-)

I talked to Leaha today! She came by the office. I love Leaha, she's a great friend. Busy friend.
I talked to Quinton today, he came to the TC to go camping with some of the guys. He just took the bar exam in CA.
Anita is going to take the bar exam this summer. She is my office mate and a wonderful person and friend. God bless Anita!
I've been reading Jeremy's blog too much.
I need to hang out with Alex. I miss her! Maybe on Sunday...

XOXO~
Shannon

something profound

2006-03-13T21:58:00.000-08:00

Dear All,
I wish I had something profound to say, but I do not. And if I did, I would be too tired to make any sense of it anyway. It is 11:58. Alex, I love the new format of your site, it looks really really good. I am so tired. I have to do the dishes and blow dry my hair before I go to sleep, or even to bed. I went out with a friend and did cool stuff tonight. I went out on Saturday, too, and did really cool stuff. Tomorrow, well my aunt is coming in around 1, and I suppose we will do cool stuff tomorrow night... like sleep maybe.

So, what do you think of the word "love?" Is it allowed to be used? What does it mean? How strong is it? Does it carry "baggage?" It is certainly used differently in different situations, but I think that many uses are appropriate. I hope that when I am married, my heart will lend the neccessary emphasis to the word, and my husband will know that when I love him, and when I tell him that I love him, it is different than any love I have every had for any other person- or that I have ever expressed to them. It is a sacred word, but in loving we fulfill a command- so it cannot be wrong to express that to someone, can it? I certainly have respect for those who so value the word, for whom it is so sacred, that they reserve it wholly and will preserve it for their spouse. Sometimes I wish I could be other people... but I cannot and am not and will not ever be. Jesus. I just want Jesus. I want to know Him, and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings... and the joy of His love, and... Him. Just Him. Just Jesus. Jesus~ isn't that a beautiful name? The most beautiful name on earth. Or in heaven. In time and eternity, I love the name Jesus. And He loves me. And I love Him. And I love you, because He first loved me. And I want you- I want you to know Him, and love Him, and to be held by Him as I am. And I want you to be my friend, so that I can love you too, so that you will know for sure that Jesus loves you.

Sometimes it is hard, difficult, painful, to love people. To open up to them, to trust, to share your heart. But if Jesus is holding your soul~ then there is nothing to fear. Come to Jesus today, tonight, right now. Come to Jesus and let Him love you, He knows how, and let yourself love Him in return. He is waiting for you- go to Him, run to Him, run. He is everything.

I love you all, truly I do, in Jesus name. Amen.

I Talked to Luke!!

2006-03-08T21:43:00.000-08:00

I talked to Luke! haha, he called me tonight and not you, so :-P

Really though, we had a wonderful, 2 hr. conversation. Gentleman readers, invest in the lives of your sisters. You will end up with beautiful, intelligent, phenominal friends :-) (like me! but not me, your sisters will be those friends.)

It is just amazing how two people can be so different, and yet so much alike. Luke and I have such similar perspectives on so many different things. One of those things is "depth." If a friendship isn't deep, at least on some level, then it isn't a real friendship. We are both very intense people. It is a verbal, intellectual, spiritual, emotional, soul- thing. To give a vague analogy... when we push we need someone to push back. There is slight conflict on some levels. There is mutual, simultaneous support and challenging of thoughts and ideals... The freedom to be real... The courage and confidence to be sincere. Wisdom that does not judge. Discretion that does not accept lies. This to me is a great kind of friendship.

I wish that I could say it was model- here is what a friendship should look like... but I cannot say that, because it isn't in the nature of friendship to qualify things.

*Side rant* -like the need some people have to clarify "just friends." Good grief! Who wants to be "Just" a friend of anybody's? I mean, c'mon! Why would someone devalue a friendship by qualifying it with the prefix, "just?" I think that's just stupid. You're a friend or you're not. *Rant has ended.*

So, I have a wonderful, unique friendship with my older brother, even as I have wonderful, unique friendships with many other people. The beauty is in the diversity.
Those of you who know me and like me, Luke has been influential in the formation of my character. He has taught me by example how to view God, and how to look at people from His perspective. This is very useful for loving people, some of you in particular.
Those of you who know me and don't like me, it is partly Luke's fault.

I happen to be very tired, so please forgive the poor construction of this post.

I will post again, hopefully soon :-)

I love you all... so very much~
Love,
Shannon

Sushi...

2006-02-26T14:48:00.000-08:00

I love sushi. Strange, but true. Ever since that first bite, where the wasabi burned my nostrils and the strange blend of rice, seaweed, crab, and various other componants swam around in my mouth as I tried not to spit it all out... I've been hooked. I even think about it in church sometimes. But not today! Ok, just for a minute... but mostly I thought about the sermon. WoW! What a sermon!

The text for the sermon was the book of Job. Pastor Wells explored and explained the wrongful judgment of Job's friends. They saw what appeared to them to be clear evidence of sin in Job's life, and they judged him for it. To them, there was no other solution. Does God punish people for nothing? Job's good name was destroyed among his friends, he had been found guilty and stood condemned. And yet... he was innocent. Job's name stood clear and pure and spotless before God. God approved of Job, while his closest friends judged him. Who's opinion matters to me?

Then we moved to Jesus. When we look at the pattern of Christ, we see that at no time did He explain to someone how they had gotten into their predicament before helping them. Instead, He HEALED them! When Christians fail we so often are ashamed to mention it to one another, for it to be known in the Church- because the Church has become to many a place of judgment! And yet- The SICK the WEEK the FAILING - Flocked to Jesus. They sought after Him. It is important to note that in that time sickness was seen as a direct punishment of God for some sin in one's life. So these people ran to Jesus, knowing that He would not judge them, He would heal them. How do we handle those who appear to be under the chastisemnet of God?

One of the most beautiful stories of Christ's character is the story of the adulteress woman.
When she was cast at Jesus' feet and the men wanted to stone her according to the Mosaic Law, His immediate response was to Protect her. He protected Her! He gathered her in His love and stood between her and her accusers with the direction- "He who is without sin among you, cast the first stone." Do we protect or defend those whom we know to be guilty in the face of their accusers? Jesus did. Then He spoke to the woman, "Where are your accusers?" She looks up from the earth, and sees only Christ. Then, wonder of wonders, he forgives her-- before she repents!! The woman was not asked to make things right in order to receive forgiveness, she was not even made to confess. Finally, Jesus sent her on her way- without ever addressing the sin which brought her to His feet. She knew her sin, her guilt, and Jesus did not remind her of it. He simply forgave her, and told her gently to go, and, "sin no more."

Why oh WHY do we feel the need to reveal other's sins to them?! WHY must we tell our brothers and sisters that they got themselves into their predicaments? Jesus didn't! He Protected the guilty, Forgave the guilty before they repented, and he Exhorted them as they left to live holy lives. - and he didn't do it with a half-hour sermon/ lecture! Oh, let us follow the example of Christ! Let us not judge unrighteously, based on our own understanding and our own convictions and fence laws! Let us let God be God, and affirm the truth in our own hearts. Let me be like Jesus.

La Vita e Bella

2006-02-16T17:18:00.000-08:00

Oh my dear friends... yes, I just finished watching a movie, "Life is Beautiful." I don't know whether to smile or cry. Ok, I've just been sobbing big crocodile tears. It is true that life is beautiful, and some love is just so strong. I So Appreciate the absolute, true depiction of love in this film. Love is so complete, not witholding, full of laughter but not trite. Including desire, but going so much deeper. And when it was ending I just sat there and sobbed... realizing that I know so many men who would do the same thing for their families. I know my father would, he loves my mom So Much... he would die for any one of us without hesitation, and that just means so much. And I thought of amazing guys I know, without their own families yet, but I know the kind of men that they are-- and that would be them. Adoring, protecting, loving with everything in them until the sacrificial- yet willing- end. And women I know, my intimate friends, who will be the kind of women who stand tall and strong amidst their deepest fears, Trusting each her husband and deserving of his love. I know people like this! I am richly blessed... And I just Pray that This generation of Christians, that these my friends, will be the kind of noble people who love at all costs- not only their families, their husbands and wives and children, but Jesus Christ Himself. Will we be the ones who will leave all to follow him? Friends, let us live for the the love of the One Who has died for us. Let us live for the one who gives us life. It is in loving Him that we receive power to love one another. To love, I think, is the greatest of all gifts. Thank you, Peter, for giving your life for your country. God has welcomed you home. We love you.
And that is it.

Hallalujah! Praise God! I got an A!!

2006-02-11T07:23:00.000-08:00

I am So very happy, y'all!! I just got an A in my Microsoft Office class, and I am free for the next three Saturdays at least!

Oh, and it was indeed by an act of God. I stayed up until 6:45 this morning studying, then slept for 45 minutes and came to class. I was trying to read over the study guide that I wrote and read and studied over and over- and I was reading it out loud, just under my breath, and I found myself mumbling the most random things. Re-arranging the words on the page and speaking nonsense. Not the best study habbits :-)

Then the stinkin' test was so stinkin' hard and confusing! But oh well, I still got an A :-) Thank you Jonathan, SO MUCH, for all of your help! - I'd have gotten a B otherwise. (I like having a resident expert as a friend. Though I think I've become shameless about taking advantage of the really great people I know :-P )

So Now I shall... hmm. Should I go home and sleep? Or should I go to the gym and try to run? Or should I go to Starbucks and study for my music class? Or- ooh, I know one thing that I need to do. Ok. Or should I go home and study my French (which I haven't done in almost two weeks)? I should probably do that. But I was going to go out with Alex today. Maybe tonight, or tomorrow. I have to sleep sometime before Monday. If I don't nap today, I'll lose tomorrow to sleep. grr...

But it's still a fabulous day!
Love to all- So much Love!!
~Shannon

P.S., Thank You, Jesus~ the Joy of my Childhood, the Life of my broken body, the Truth of my youth, the Healer and Comfortor of my young and precious broken heart, the Righteousness and transformer of my young adulthood, and even now, the Lover of my Soul.

everyone is fabulous!!!!

2006-02-07T19:19:00.000-08:00

Rebecca is in LOVE!!!!
Yes, yes I know that that is crazy... but she is. So very much in love.
And the Amazing thing is that Timothy Crawford is in love with her!!
So that is my huge exciting announcement that I have had to keep a
secret since New Year's Eve. Man! I'm good.

everyone should fall in love...

2006-01-22T14:53:00.000-08:00

Sheesh! I get annoyed at people when they don't update every day~ sorry for the delay... if anyone reads this than I am sure you are very perturbed.

So! This week I got to talk to Molly Buehler!! She is So much fun and I miss her like crazy! Anyone who's met her knows what I'm talking about... Pray for her as she is looking for a job, and for God's will as she gets ready to start school.

Last night I got to see my Great friend, Jeff Hawkins, for the first time in Forever!! We had planned on going to see Glory Road (which we did see). I invited my brother, Matthew, and then Jeff called and asked if he could bring Jackie. "Of course you can, who is she?" Aww... they're seeing each other! So the four of us had a fantastic evening, movie, then a late dinner at Spaghetti Warehouse. Jackie is so sweet and I think she's good for Jeff. And Finally Matthew liked some of my friends! (He likes you too, Molly :-)

I haven't talked to my brother, Luke, in forever. But talking to three very cool girls from my church, he's doing great. :-) They're like his other little sisters.

My computer class is going well.

Next weekend~ Here We Come Dallas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yep, got a little road trip planned and it's gonna' be a blast. I'll keep you posted ;-)

Love ya All!!
~Shannon

Traffic Stopping!

2006-01-14T18:46:00.000-08:00

Hey y'all! Would you ever believe?? Traffic stopped for me last night! And I don't mean because I got in a wreck :-) I was driving onto Tinker Air Force Base, headed to the Exchange (shopping center)... there are two lanes into the base, and an officer at each to check your military ID before you enter. Well, the Exchange is a ways away to the right. There is a small service road which heads that direction, but which had been closed for a long time, so I have always gone straight ahead on the main roads and come around. Anyway, I was entering the base through the left lane. The officer greeted me cheerfully, and of course I'm always cheerful and so I smiled and greeted him back. There were quite a few people in both lines, but I decided to quickly ask him if it was possible to get to the Exchange from that side road. He said "Yes, it sure is." THEN he called to the other officer, "Stop Traffic!" a van was already moving through that line so he called again, "Stop Traffic! Stop that car!" And he smiled and I said, "Oh! Wow, Thank You!" and crossed in front of the van with the bewildered driver and went my merry way down the service road to the Exchange. :) He made my day :D

In Other news... I got Paris pictures printed today!! YAY!!!! They have been waiting over three years now, and I finally did it! I spent $43.94 and left wishing I had much more money. I printed 90 4x6's 18 5x7's 5 wallets, and 1 8x10. You guys, the pictures are absolutely AmAzInG!! I truly couldn't believe how stunning so many of them were. Pure art. And I'm not a photographer~ the pictures make themselves. But now, I am not satisfied with the sizes. I need to go back and print many more 8x10's and at least several 10x14's or whatever the next size up is. Really. My bedroom walls are quite bare right now, they have been waiting for me to get around to figuring out how to print from a CD... yes, I know, it's easy... but I didn't know that until last Monday. I just went to WalMart, but the quality is really good. I can't wait until my walls are covered with Paris!!

I also found out that my Saturday 8-5 computer class actually only lasts until 9:45, the rest is basically "lab," working on whatever was discussed. Yep, I finished at 11. And That is only because all the power in our house went off during the night, so my 6:15 alarm didn't go off. My mom woke me up at 8:30 (I slept for 10 hours!) and I live 20 minutes from school. I wasn't ready for the day yet, so I got to class at 9:30. Oh well, didn't miss much :-) And this means that I Will have my Saturday's for the next 4 weeks, And that I won't have to do homework outside of class!! WooHoo!!

Well, I love you all~ Thank's for reading!!

Shannon

some pictures from Paris...

2006-01-12T14:47:00.000-08:00

a Pure heart...

2006-01-06T20:41:00.000-08:00

Well I've just been thinking lately, and I wanted you all to know, that Rebecca Linzey has the purest heart of anyone I think I've ever met. Now she needs to learn and grow for sure, she's not perfect, but her Heart Is. Anyway, just wanted to make it official.

Welcome

2006-01-03T20:45:00.001-08:00

I'm sitting here, with so much life in my mind, wondering what to type. God is so glorious and has ushered in 2006 with tremendous pizaz. Yes, I said pizaz :-)

My brother has been home for almost a month now, and has one full day left before heading to Athens, Georgia for Navy Supply School. He truly harassed me this evening while we were sitting on the couch. It has been so long since he was 17 I had forgotten how aggressively harassing he could be. It was great. Please pray for his safety and success as he moves away for good as an officer in the US Navy.

Matthew played a great game of basketball last night. Also very aggressive and landing his shots! I'm so glad I was there to see it.

Spent the last day of the new year having a blast. First I watched as two very young very dear friends were united in holy matrimony - Go Brandon and Rachael! Then I went with 5 friends to the Braum's outdoor Ice Skating rink accross from the Civic Center. Oh, it was So fun! I found that I MUCH prefer skating 1) when my skates are Not cutting off all circulation from my ankle down and 2) when I am holding hands with a friend. This poor tottering soul was not looking terribly proficient on the ice when Rebecca Linzey came and grabbed my hand. We made a chain and from then on skating was as charming as the winter sport is supposed to be!

Later on we all went to Sonic with half of the downtown population, and then we went to the parking garage to watch the fireworks at midnight. Needless to say, I screamed like crazy during the best parts of the explosions!! Amanda Young thanked me after for making so much noise so that she, too, could scream. Anytime, girly :-) We made our way to the Myriad Gardens where I practiced my banister-sliding skills with my tutor, Miss Linzey. We finally headed back to the TC where Becca and I went to sleep at a very reasonable 2am.

Since the purpose of this blog is actually Not to simply chronicle my life, I will say goodbye for now.

To those I know, know that I love you. To those I have not yet met, I'm sure I will like you when we do meet! Hopefully that will be soon.
May the Peace of God dwell in your hearts.

Love,
Shannon

Today is My Anniversary!!!!

2005-12-27T19:28:00.000-08:00

Congratulations, Shannon! Praise be to God!! Ten years ago today a frail 12 year old girl woke up from a coma, in which she was supposed to die. It was actually two days ago, ten years ago, that I was diagnosed with diabetes. I had gone into the late stages of ketoacidosis without any knowledge of the disease under whose power I had fallen. For several weeks I had been drinking obscene ammounts of water and craving sweet canned fruits. Eating and drinking constantly I had become very skinny which went essentially unnoticed. My body had stopped producing insulin, which delivers sugars to body cells. All of the sugar/carbs I consumed went straight into my blood stream and stayed there, and since my body was not receiving nourishment it began burning fat cells at an extreem rate- causing rapid weight loss and ketosis- huge ammounts of acid and chemicals in my body. Finally, on Christmas night I began haulucinating. The next morning my parents figured out that this was a serious situation (before then they reasonably thought that I had the flu- we are generally a very healthy family!). My last memory was my father carrying me down the stairs and hoping that he wouldn't drop me.

My parents took me to our family doctor who smelled my breath and immediately directed that an ambulance be called. Yes, that sounds funny :-), but he recognized the syruppy sweetness and acidic smell and knew that I had ketoacidosis. I don't remember all of the details- I was asleep, in and out of ketoacidosic comas, but I know that my vital signs went wack and noone thought that I was going to live. The MD took my parents into a comfortable room and told them to "prepare themselves for the very real possibility that their little girl would not be going home." I had a 1 in 10 chance of living, and if I survived I had a 1 in 3 chance of not having completely debilitating brain damage. At this point my mom went into shock. My father heared from God. "Shannon's going to be fine. A week from now she will walk into this hospital under her own power." So my dad boldly shaared what God had told him with the unbelieving (non-Christian) doctor. They thought he was in denial, but he was confident and unwavering in God's word to him. My mom gave me fully to God in her heart, and His peace came to her.

I guess I started responding somewhat to the voice of my father, by the twitch of my foot. I was taken in an ambulance to Rochester, NY, to the pediactric unit of the hospital there. As I stated, details are fuzzy, but having falling into another coma I awoke in complete health on Dec. 27, 1995. When I was informed that I had diabetes I remember whispering, "I'm twelve years old and I'm falling apart." But then my mother told me how God has spared my life, and how thousands of Christians had been praying for me all accross the country. I praised God for His mercy and power, and I thanked Him for my diabetes. I went home from the hospital with the conviction that God had a purpose for my life, and that it was not fulfilled yet.
A week from my diagnosis I went with my father back to the hospital where I was first cared for and met several of the nurses which were on duty that day. Many happy tears :-)

Having diabetes has not been easy. Shots and injections hurt, I have to have a constant awareness the way foods and activities will affect my blood glucose levels. I face possible complications ranging from amputations to kidney failure to heart disease beginning as early as 5 years from now. But I know that God will withhold No Good Thing from me. I know that I will be able to accomplish God's will for my life More effectively with diabetes than I could have without. And I live knowing that when God is ready He can and will heal me, in His way.

So Congratulations, Jehovah Rophe! You are my healer, and You are my God! Thank You for Your Greatness, Power, and Mercy in my life!!!!!!!!!!

I Love You,
Shannon

So Much to Do!!

2005-12-21T23:08:00.000-08:00

So much to do- isn't it GREAT?! Ok, first things first. I've been tagged by ALEX, so here goes-
Five weird things about me:
1) I'm 22 and I sleep with a teddy bear and a stuffed zebra. Every night.
2) I enjoy spending All Day doing massive ammounts of laundry by myself.
3) I know really funny salt and pepper jokes :-) (which no one expects me to know or tell. not bad, just exceptionally funny).
4) I didn't know I was obsessed with Starbucks coffee until 5 random friends all confirmed it yesterday.
5) I absolutely LOVE going on spontanious walks at 11 or so at night and wandering all around downtown OKC with friends- laughing and skipping and running at will, in addition to sliding down banisters (new tallent) and rolling down hills.

Wow, more things are coming to mind. I'm weirder than I thought!

Random thoughts...
I love working for Mr. Menzel.
I'm a wretch when I don't read my Bible.
I like Timothy Crawford- he's funny!
My church is FINALLY offering a "college and career" class/ group after, like, 9 years at least that I have been there. It's a Miracle!! I'm serious, and I am So Grateful to God. Pray for us as we get everything started. The director will be Odus Compton who led the OBU (OK Baptist U) BSU (Baptist Student Union) for 15 years- good stuff! So anyway, God is at work in the lives of men.
Farewell to Molly Buehler. She left the TC today and will not be returning as staff... please pray that God would bless her as she moves home and into a new phase of life. We will all miss her dearly.

Goodnight, my friends, fare thee well!
Love,
Shannon

6:40 am and I want to go back to sleep

2005-12-19T04:40:00.000-08:00

Well it's 20 minutes until I have to leave for work and I'm sitting on the couch with un-brushed hair, no make=up, and in winter pj's. I don't want to get up or go to work. I saw Narnia last night with several friends (great people, btw) and I truly enjoyed it. I shall have to pour more thought into it later. The Lion of Judah. One of my favorite names of God, esp. when I was a little girl. Somehow it was a wonderful picture of the Strength and Fearsomness and Beauty and Nobiblity and Control and, again, the sheer Strength and Power of God. So it was an amazing picture to see, not a precious lamb laying down its life, but the LION, Laying Aside his strength, actually truly Maintaing his strength and power, but submitting himself to the abuse of the week for the sake of the boy. Wow. That is truly amazing. Now I see how, even if/ when I am in the Right in a situation, I can show meekness and lay down my opinion or rights- even if it means that I am thought to have given up or yielded because I am weak. Christ did it, why can't I?

Do You Think I'm Beautiful? Part 1

2005-12-17T23:39:00.000-08:00

My my oh my... So, it is 1:38 am and I am not in bed. This keeps happening. Anyway, I am very glad because I was able to spend some time with really great friends today. With everyone being in school it has been hard to connect for the past 4 months or so... well, not everyone, but many of my long-time friends. So tonight a group went ice skating, and then came to my home and hung out. I've missed you, Leaha!

So what do y'all think about the idea of creating a blog for the very purpose of "creating" an entire person- including personality, friends, interests, activities, etc.? No, this is not such a blog. I suppose the only way to verify that is to be one of my friends, or to know me, and to compare this blog to my actual life. Anyway!

I have one semester of French left. Calvin, you need to come to class with my sometime- Madame Walker is serious!

So, I discovered a book last night with a friend. The title struck hard a chord within me: Do you think I'm beautiful? Yes, that is the title of the book. That question resides in every woman's heart. Some ask it, and some deny to themselves that the question, the longing for an answer, is even within them. I began reading the book today while at B&N. I don't know how deep it will be, but I purchased it and will keep you apprised as I read through. I don't know who is supposed to make a woman feel beautiful, or who is supposed to let her Know that she is- assure her of it and ensure the knowledge within her.
I have no new information, I am not an author or a theologean or a professor of woman's studies or even a mom. But I am a woman and I have been a girl, and I have spoken with girls and I have looked deep into the eyes of many, many woman. In some there is a depth of pain or sadness which is only missed by the blind (which, I am afraid, includes many a man and woman). In many others there is simply Something Missing. Something great, something terrable, something so fundamental and deep and profound to a woman's soul. She is asking, or she has asked and heard again and again the answer which she can no longer bear- no, she is not beautiful. "She will never be Cinderella." The Beauty. A woman's Actual physical/ Spiritual beauty has little or nothing to do with their self-reflection. And unfortunately, the need for a positive answer to the heart-wrenching question, "Do you think I'm beautiful?' Cannot be answered from "within," it Must be answered from without. Hence This question- Do YOU think I'm beautiful? not "Am I beautiful?" or "Am I valuable/ smart/ Pretty/ likable?" This, this is a question we simply cannot answer for ourselves.

2005-12-13T15:19:00.000-08:00

I desperately need to write something worth reading here, but right now I am "wasting" time letting my brain rest from matrices. Algebra! One final on Thursday and I am finished with math, I hope for forever.

We started watching "Casablanca" in my French class last night. That is one amazing movie, I should ask for it for Christmas. Humphry Bogart is one of my all-time favorite actors.

Like I said, nothing deep in this post.

Have a great night!!

Check these out...

2005-12-07T20:07:00.000-08:00

Two really great posts.

First, Laura Propestar, ie "Manna" has two very interresting, deep posts (don't worry, she is not as wordy as me) which you should check out. Esp. Pumpkinvines people.
http://girlieme82.blogspot.com/

Second, check out Colin Higbee's spot- the one about Pepsi (Dec. 2). It's great!
chigbee23.blogspot.com

Check them out!

Balance

2005-12-04T15:08:00.001-08:00

I have read and studied Romans 4-8 over and over, and have been amazed as many times at my own identity and nature in Christ. How much Freedom would come to the Christian world if we only Knew what we are clearly told in Scripture! Dead to sin, alive to God~ how much more clearly could He tell us that sin is Powerless over those who believe?

Now I am excitedly reading Colossians and learning about My responsibility as a follower of Christ in the 'process' (still really seeking the truth of that term/ concept...) of holiness.
I was struck by Ch. 1, vs. 21-23:

"And you, who once were alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now

He has reconciled in the body of His flesh through death, to present you

holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight-

If indeed you continue in the faith, grounded and steadfast,

and are not moved away from the hope of the gospel which you heard, which was preached to every creature under heaven, of which I, Paul, became a minister."

Wow. So it appears that we are reconciled, and we will be presented holy if we continue in the faith. So is that simply abiding in the vine, as Jesus taught in John 15? It doesn't look like we are doing anything special, simply continuing in what we have been called to.

I also want to know where the Scriptures fit in~ "Know ye not that they which run in a race, run all, but one receiveth the prize? So Run that ye may obtain." Definately an active Christianity. Perhaps my misconception is that "abiding" or "continuing" are passive verbs. Are they actually as active as "running?" I do not believe in passive Christianity, but I also think it is important that we know what we are striving towards.

If we are running towards righteousness or Christian maturity,
do we not miss the Joy of running towards Christ?

So then, let us remember Who Christ is~
"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation... And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence. For it pleased the Father that in Him all the fulness should dwell... Christ, In Whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. For in Him dwells all the fulness of the Godhead bodily;
And you are complete in Him, Who is the head of all principality and power."
~Col. 1:15,17,18,19, 2:2,3,10

It appears to me that if we indeed run straight to Christ, and to nothing else, we will necessarily become holy and mature followers. It is in Christ that all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hidden! It is Christ in Whom we are complete. It is Christ in Whom all fulness dwells. How exciting He is!

Let us run after Christ!

Wisdom from Galations...

2005-11-30T20:40:00.000-08:00

Galations 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me, and delivered Himself up for me.

3:2, 3, 4
This is the only thing I want to find out from you: did you reaceive the Spirit by the works of the Law, or by hearing with faith?
Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now made perfect by the flesh?
Did you suffer so many things in vain?

4:8, 9
However at that time, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those which by nature are no gods.
But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how is it that you turn back again to the weak and beggerly things, to which you desire to be enslaved all over again?5:1, 13, 16
It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.

For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.

Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.

6:8, 9
For the one who sows to his own flesh shall from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit shall from the Spirit reap eternal life.
And let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary.

If any man lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, Who gives to all men liberally!

God is so faithful, now and always, to take us in His arms and give us the answers to life's deepest questions. Thank you, Father! You are so good to me.

2005-11-26T16:04:00.001-08:00

I am afraid that algebra is difficult and that I am lazy. My professor can cover a chapter in 20 minutes during class, and then it takes me a full 2 hours at home studying to learn the lesson. It's ok, I only have 5 more lessons to study before Tuesday :)

I am curious about the difference between holiness and righteousness. An acquaintance wrote an email to me expressing his opinion/ position. The more that I study Scripture, the more what he said is confirmed to me as true. Here is some of his response to a questioning email:

In your email, you stated that according to your
understanding of Romans, you are wholly righteousness
apart from your actions.  Because Christ was made sin
for us, we are righteous through Him.  That
righteousness (or holiness), being perfect, cannot
increase or diminish.

As long as you don’t let this become an excuse for
irresponsibility, I have no disagreement.

Your second point was less clear.  You asked about the
essence of Holiness/Righteousness.  As you put it, “Is
holiness not the Complete Total Entire separation
from/ absence of sin?”  Welllll…sort of.  Holiness and
righteousness are two related, but very unique
concepts.

Holiness is separation—not just *from*—but *to*
something.  It means being set apart, not just from
sin, but set apart for a purpose.  In II Cor. 7:1 Paul
exhorts us to “perfect” our holiness.  Later he tells
Timothy that women should “continue” in holiness.  All
of which suggests that holiness is a lifelong process.
Righteousness, on the other hand, is right standing
with God.  And as you correctly state, in God’s eyes a
Christian is just as righteous at the beginning of his
life as at the end.

Christ was perfectly and unchangingly righteous and
holy, yet Scripture describes Him as “growing” in
wisdom and in favor with God.  Saying that He was the
same at the end as at the beginning, while certainly
true of His divinity, is certainly false of His
humanity.

I find it very interesting that Paul “beseeches” us to
present our bodies to God as a holy sacrifice (Romans
12:1).  In the next verse he tells to be transformed
by the renewing of our minds.  Both of these imply
that for Christians, holiness and transformation are
ongoing processes demanding our attention and effort,
and resulting in what I would describe as “growth.”

My point is that while there is true that our
righteousness must come only from Christ, personal
growth is something that we very much have a hand in.
And I should certainly hope that my friends will see a
different (better?) Quinton at the end of my life than
they do right now.  You could describe that process as
conformity to an inward reality, but I find it much
more useful (and less cumbersome) to describe it as
growth, pure and simple.  That’s my take.  If you’ve
got a problem with any of it, let me know.

So what do you all think?  I do not agree 100%, but the explanation
of the difference between righteousness and holiness I found very
useful during Bible study.

do you ever?

2005-11-23T21:12:00.000-08:00

This is a tad revealing, but do you ever just want to kill someone- or something?
Oh. Yeah, I don't either.
It's not really that I'm violent, I just have so much energy pent up... I am probably the most intense person I know. That's somewhat embarassing. Why can't I just be like normal people~ "ohh, how nice!" "ohh, that's sweet!" "ohh, honey! i'm so glad to see you." "ohh, no~ i've been mis-understood. welll, that's all right, everything will be fine in the end." I guess, though, that if I were more passive I would not recognize my Intense need to rely upon Christ. To RUN to Him, not walk. To Throw myself at His feet, Desperate for Him, not politely request His aid. Have you ever gone to bed so emotionally exhausted that you are nearly gasping for air? Not physically, neccessarily, but spiritually? And you haven't read the Word since that morning, or maybe you have, but you still feel like you are so thirsty or hungry that you just have to devour the Scripture until you begin to breathe normally again and you start praying and just talking to God, and then curl up with your Bible and turn out the light and fall into beautiful, peaceful, spiritual sleep? Anyway... God is near to those who seek Him. And I realize that I have been really selfish lately. I haven't realized it (isn't that the point?), but it was very obvious today. If you happen to be reading this and have been around me or affected by it, please forgive me. I am very sorry and commit to allowing the Lord to work on me. I get so proud, and mean. I am so excited to see my big brother!!!! He graduates from OCS on 12/2 and my family will be there to pick him up!!!!
Love you all!!
H.M.
(can you guess??)

2005-11-21T21:15:00.000-08:00

I love you Jesus. So much.

but for Christ

2005-11-20T14:14:00.000-08:00

let me not be bold, but for Christ.
let me not be good, but for Christ.
let me not care, but for Christ.
let me not love, but for Christ.
let me not give, but for Christ.
let me not be virtuous, but for Christ.
let me not laugh, but for Christ.
let me not smile, but for Christ!
let me not be happy, but for Christ!
let me not be angry, but for Christ.
let me not be jealous, but for Christ.
let me not sing, but for Christ.
let me not cry, but for Christ.
let me not dance, but for Christ only!
let me not study, but for Christ.
let me not seek wisdom, but for Christ.
let me not make friends, but for Christ.
let me not speak, but for Christ.
let me not keep silent, but for Christ.
let me not shout, but for Christ!
let me not work, but for Christ.
let me not rest, but in Christ.
let me not share, but for Christ.
let me not hope, but in Christ.
let me not worship, but for Christ.
let me not know, but Christ.
let me not be known, but Christ.
let me not be known, but of Christ.
let me not be seen, but Christ.
let me pray, for the Father Himself loveth me.
let me not live, but for Christ.
let me not breath, but for Christ.
let me not be, but for Christ.
In Christ alone I live, and breathe, and have my being.

I was driving home yesterday evening and just began to speak to God and to enjoy His fellowship. This prayer just came out- let me not be bold, O God, but for Christ! Then I considered what that meant and began to pray and let the Spirit flow through. I realized that all character is void but for Christ- except when for Christ, and in Him and through Him. Eternal value is stripped of anything I do or am- but for Christ. The prayer became intense, God doesn't mind it that I'm intense- it is by Him and for Him! Worship flowed through my heart as I prayed and I ended up singing praises to Him the rest of the way home. Now why do I ever turn on my radio?

amazing

2005-11-19T20:44:00.000-08:00

wow y'all, i'm afraid that words cannot begin to describe the past few weeks. sometimes life seems difficult and discouraging, and we choose to rejoice in the Lord through it. but sometimes, life is so exciting and wonderful and fun that you're barely holding on and you Just Can't Stop praising God! believe it or not, the centre/ starting point for the excitement has been the OTC- Oklahoma Training Center. yep, it's true. several weeks ago a large group from the tc went to sonic. on the way home rebecca linzey, jonathan jessup, and i split from the group and walked around the downtown for several hours. rebecca and i had not explored the area at all, so everything was new to us, and jonathan was our able guide. returning to the tc we found most of the rest of the group awake and sat down with them for 2-3 hours of conversation. since that evening we have repeated the basic schedule over and over... except the jaunts and following tc lobby/dining room conversations have grown to 6-8 hour sessions. the groups tend to varry slightly each time, at least for a while, but we've kept the 'becca, shannon, jonathan core- we are hoping that calvin will continue to join us. anyway, we laugh so hard so often it makes all of our sides hurt. yup, we're hurting All of our sides. how Good it is to worship God together!!!! ~loving every minute

my nice prof...

2005-10-28T06:18:00.000-07:00

i am so grateful! yesterday, my very nice college algebra prof. helped me study for his test (given thursday) for about an hour. now he is letting me take the test in the testing center sometime before monday evening. he's a nice man! i'll take the test saturday after work, so keep me in your prayers!

btw, i got a new retainer on tuesday. two of my teeth had started receeding and i was moving towards a buck-toothed beaver-smile. anyway, my old orthodontist made the new retainer with a little spring in it to push the worst tooth forcefully back into place- and then told me to wear it all the time for a month to try to fix the damage 6-8 months of not wearing my Old retainer had caused. needless to say, ouch! but it's only been 3 days and my smile's almost completely perfect again :)

and finally, yay! alex and becki are coming to western hills church on sunday! so they can finally see what all the hype is about... smile.

blessings!

busy fun week

2005-10-21T17:10:00.000-07:00

so sunday i decided that i really needed a lot more study time than i had before my next french class... so i decided to drink bunches of coffee and study all night. i studied until a little after 4:30am, then i took a shower and tried to fall asleep around 5:30. i think i managed about 45 min. before waking for work. it was so fun trying to stay awake all day! my french class that evening was awsome because i understood almost everything!

wednesday i went to Bible study, and then clint's to watch lost-- FUN!! and nobody hit me when i did voice-over during the slow quiet boring parts (such nice people :), and i got to see alex and we had a blast as we brazenly defied our 5-minute rule (we're only allowed to be together for 5 minutes, then we have to take a break to calm down and give everyone else a rest from our extreem girlishness and loud laughter). it was so fun.

Last night (thursday) i walked around bricktown with good friend Molly, and then went to the movie "something like heaven." WoW! oh my goodness, that was such a wonderful movie. i Really wasn't sure that i was going to like it, and somehow it was almost weird to watch, but at the ending- man everything came together and left me with that feeling that something really good has just happened.

Cleaned stairwells today. swept them out and then washed them down with a rag. molly and i split the work down 23 flights. fun! now i'm home and i'm getting ready to study and clean my room and watch a movie in french (listening exercises!).

Have a great, God-blessed weekend!
Shannon

a bit about me...

2005-10-16T16:18:00.000-07:00

Ten years ago i...
Used proper punctuation and capitalization. On my 12th birthday I went to the funeral of a very godly woman. Her husband preached a sermon about his "Proverbs 31 Girl." He went through the entire passage explaining and giving examples of how she had exemplified every one the virtues listed in Proverbs 31- she was pure gold to him. It really gave me a vision as to the kind of woman I wanted to be. About 2 months later I was diagnosed with diabetes. The next summer I moved to OK!

Five years ago i...
Went to Dallas for an 8 weeks academic and spiritual training program for young women. It was an amazing time with the Lord where I surrendered several major areas of my life to Him. It was also there that He confirmed His call for my life...

One year ago i...
Got all A's in my classes, took first year French (loved it!), learned more stuff from the Lord. *Very important lesson learned; my Ministry is not my Life Purpose or Calling... my purpose is to know Christ personally and my calling is to know Him, my Ministry is the stuff I do in obedience to Him. Significance; the stuff I do can be taken away, or done by other people. If I'm not understanding the difference between Purpose and Ministry, then when other's take "my" ministry then I get confused and think I have no purpose... or I get jealous because they took mine, instead of glorying that the work of God is being done. Anyway...

Yesterday i...
Cleaned the house, talked to Luke, went for a walk, meditated on parts of Ps. 16, created a blogspot, got the house messy again, had Leaha over, checked out "facebook" for the 1st time, watched part of a stupid movie, watched TV and talked.

Five snacks i enjoy...
~cookies
~chocolate
~golden delicious apples
~triskets (sp?) and cheese
~Starbucks!!!!

Five songs i know all the words to...
"happy birthday"
"when you say you love me" by josh groban (i love him!!)
"heart of worship"
"Amazing Grace"
"America the Beautiful"

Five things i would do with a hundred million dollars...
~go back to africa for missions
~go everywhere for missions
~feed the children
~buy a stunning gown and travel to every famous and wonderful theater and opera house in the world- listening to the most amazing music, watching beautiful ballets, and enjoying theatre old and new... wow, now i'm daydreaming...
~find someone else to manage my money.

Five bad habbits...
~spending too much time online when i should be doing schoolwork
~messying my house, and room, and car, as soon as i clean them
~procrastinating
~not taking charge
~either being too forceful or too easily intimidated

Five biggest joys...
~Jesus
~my family
~traveling!
~seeing people happy/ making people smile
~music

Five things i would never wear...
~hmm... i don't know. never say never.

Five favorite tv shows...
hehe, what not to wear :)
~movie club
~king of queens
~CMT
~everybody loves raymond

Five fictional characters i'd be interested in...
Clark Kent (holy cow!)
Brad Pitt in any of his movies...
ok, now i realize that i'm really shallow here...
Richard Greere (don't even know how to spell his name) in Runaway Bride or Pretty Woman.
The hotel proprieter in Pretty Woman.
Zoro!

let's try this!

2005-10-15T21:15:00.000-07:00

So I've never done anything like this before, so I'm very proud that I think I've figured it out! I don't know who will read this stuff, but people not listening has never kept me from talking before. It took me about four hours (of doing other stuff too) to come up with a title for this blog. I was re-reading different scriptures that have stood out to me lately... but somehow "wholly desirable" (S.S 5:16) seemed like it could be really easily mis-understood.

The Lord has taught me so much in the past 10 months that I wouldn't know where to start if I tried to share it all. I know that reading through Romans, and then re-reading chapters 5-8 over and over again absolutely changed my understanding of myself- not only as God "sees" me, but as He has Made me.

This morning I meditated on Ps. 16:2, "I said to the LORD, 'Thou art my Lord; I have no good besides Thee.'" And it really met me where I was at. God is so good.