altogether Beautiful...

That is what my Jesus is to me. His voice is sweet, and His form is lovely. The most amazing, incomprehensible thing, though, is that I am altogether Beautiful to Him.

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I am a daughter of the King. I am a friend of sinners. I am confident that nothing shall separate me from the love of God. I am seeking a heart after God's own heart. I am righteous in Jesus Christ, apart from the works of the law. I am not ashamed of the Gospel.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Do You Think I'm Beautiful? Part 1

My my oh my... So, it is 1:38 am and I am not in bed. This keeps happening. Anyway, I am very glad because I was able to spend some time with really great friends today. With everyone being in school it has been hard to connect for the past 4 months or so... well, not everyone, but many of my long-time friends. So tonight a group went ice skating, and then came to my home and hung out. I've missed you, Leaha!

So what do y'all think about the idea of creating a blog for the very purpose of "creating" an entire person- including personality, friends, interests, activities, etc.? No, this is not such a blog. I suppose the only way to verify that is to be one of my friends, or to know me, and to compare this blog to my actual life. Anyway!

I have one semester of French left. Calvin, you need to come to class with my sometime- Madame Walker is serious!

So, I discovered a book last night with a friend. The title struck hard a chord within me: Do you think I'm beautiful? Yes, that is the title of the book. That question resides in every woman's heart. Some ask it, and some deny to themselves that the question, the longing for an answer, is even within them. I began reading the book today while at B&N. I don't know how deep it will be, but I purchased it and will keep you apprised as I read through. I don't know who is supposed to make a woman feel beautiful, or who is supposed to let her Know that she is- assure her of it and ensure the knowledge within her.
I have no new information, I am not an author or a theologean or a professor of woman's studies or even a mom. But I am a woman and I have been a girl, and I have spoken with girls and I have looked deep into the eyes of many, many woman. In some there is a depth of pain or sadness which is only missed by the blind (which, I am afraid, includes many a man and woman). In many others there is simply Something Missing. Something great, something terrable, something so fundamental and deep and profound to a woman's soul. She is asking, or she has asked and heard again and again the answer which she can no longer bear- no, she is not beautiful. "She will never be Cinderella." The Beauty. A woman's Actual physical/ Spiritual beauty has little or nothing to do with their self-reflection. And unfortunately, the need for a positive answer to the heart-wrenching question, "Do you think I'm beautiful?' Cannot be answered from "within," it Must be answered from without. Hence This question- Do YOU think I'm beautiful? not "Am I beautiful?" or "Am I valuable/ smart/ Pretty/ likable?" This, this is a question we simply cannot answer for ourselves.

5 Comments:

Blogger LJH said...

Yes, Shannon, I think you are beautiful.

And try not to take offense if few guys will admit that they agree - they're not allowed to until they get through Dad and I, right? ;-)

~Luke

4:25 PM, December 18, 2005  
Blogger cd2078 said...

That's a very wise and gracious protection from people whom you know you can trust. And that's they way it should work:)

2:04 AM, December 19, 2005  
Anonymous amansfield said...

wow, for some reason this post really resonated with me... I can't remember the last time I've been put into sucha contemplative mood. Very interesting questions raised. I have a feeling you have hit on one of the key issues in guy/girl relationships... but I'm not sure how.

The 'void' you talk about though... there is something to brothers and fathers assuring their sisters/daugters that they are beautiful. I should know... I have four sisters; and as we grow up, I'm becoming more and more conscious of how much they rely on me as the oldest and as a brother. Still, it seems reasonable that the girl would always have in the back of her mind... is he just saying that cause he's my brother? What do guys really think? So how does external (i.e. outside of family) assurance fit in?

I know for certain that a guy should be careful to not step into the place of brother/father... but does he have any responsibility at all? I'm virtually certain he does... but what is his role?

A question for the pumpkin patch:)

8:30 AM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger Alex said...

Very interesting post. Certainly something every girl/woman struggles with. It also explains many missteps females take in romantic relationships...they try to get this question answered in less than healthy ways. Also explains certain sensitivities men observe and don't necessarily understand. Yeah...very interesting.

9:55 AM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger Shannon Hodges said...

Yes, a father and a brother can play a Huge role in a girl's self-image. Truly, a Huge role. However, the question does remain, "am I really beautiful- a)or is he just saying that? and b) will anyone else/ does anyone else agree with him?" I am so grateful for the way that God has brought me, and still brings me, through this question. I think that, considering this concept, the reason for extreem immodesty among women and girls is obvious.

5:21 PM, December 19, 2005  

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