altogether Beautiful...

That is what my Jesus is to me. His voice is sweet, and His form is lovely. The most amazing, incomprehensible thing, though, is that I am altogether Beautiful to Him.

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I am a daughter of the King. I am a friend of sinners. I am confident that nothing shall separate me from the love of God. I am seeking a heart after God's own heart. I am righteous in Jesus Christ, apart from the works of the law. I am not ashamed of the Gospel.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

I cried a lot today

I guess it's just been one of those days. I cried this morning, I sobbed (more than sobbed) this afternoon, I cried this evening, and I'm tearing up now. Some things have been worth crying (weeping) over, others... not so much.

I'm considering, perhaps maybe, leaving facebook. If not leaving, just leaving it alone. I feel kind of angry about it. I'm not allowed to be me, not allowed to post what I think, what I feel, what I believe, without people who never or rarely actually talk to me demanding that I justify myself. What?? And I cannot say what I think in response to that, or I'll get an whole other group of people correcting me. It really (really really really) hurts.

-----What this post is actually about-----
I prayed for the judgment and destruction of America today, through uncontrolled weeping. I've never done that before in my life. I saw an image of a beautiful, perfect, mangled baby boy- 'aborted' at 21 weeks old. We don't deserve mercy. We as a nation have let this happen. We as Christians have allowed this to continue. Our Righteous God ought to open the earth and swallow this country into hell, just as he did Korah and all that followed him. The blood of our children is, I believe, literally crying out to God for vengeance. I am fearful of the vengeance of Almighty God, but it seems that to pray for anything less would be like asking for mercy from the courts for an unrepentant child molester. Asking for mercy demeans those who were harmed.

I don't know. I really don't. But I do know (for sure) that if you think Obama and his administration is somehow "judgment" on our nation, you have not got a clue what we deserve.

I am tired, I am drained, I am sorrowful.

Malachi is a very interesting read. Please stop imagining that my God is a pansy. He rejects liars and hypocrites and those called by His name that refuse to give Him His rightful place.
"If you do not listen, and if you do not set your heart to honor my name," says the LORD Almighty, "I will send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings.... Behold, I will rebuke your offspring, and spread dung on your faces, the dung of your offerings, and you shall be taken away with it. And you will know that I have sent you this admonition so that my covenant with Levi may continue," says the LORD Almighty.

Anyway, there is also mercy in Malachi, for God is complete... but I think that oftentimes, as mercy loving Christians content with our mediocrity we like to downplay the fierceness and jealousy of our Almighty God. Don't expect that you can give God a pathetic offering (of love, allegiance, obedience, etc.) and that He will be pleased with you. God does reject offerings that are not worthy of Him (don't forget Cain). In fact, unfit sacrifices are what He was responding to in the above statements.

I'm feeling really quite rather disjointed here. I am Very tremendously sleepy. But if I only post when I am entirely coherent I will probably never blog again.

Thank you for letting me say what I think, feel, and believe. If you have a Problem with any of it, please feel free to come to me privately via e-mail, or, if you choose, to post your thoughts with some sort of Scriptural backing (if you believe or claim that your thoughts are Biblically based, otherwise say whatever you think).

So sleepy...

2 Comments:

Blogger Orlinda said...

I am sorry you are hurting. :0( Thanks for sharing your heart. I can't help but cringe everytime I hear someone say (or sing) "God Bless America". How can He?? I don't know that I'm ready to pray for His judgement, but I am certainly praying that the church will wake up! :0)

7:06 AM, September 24, 2010  
Blogger Orlinda said...

hmmmm . . . now that I think about it . . . praying for God's judgment and praying for the church to wake up might be one and the same thing. ;0)

7:18 AM, September 24, 2010  

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