Charming Little Girl...

Well I've been watching a lot of old family videos today and yesterday (my parents are burning them to DVD, and they've been playing non-stop since the project began).

I've been shocked. Amazed. In disbelief.

I had No Idea what a charming, delightful, feminine, sensitive, beautiful little girl I was. I have always known that I am different. The words I would generally use to describe myself, especially as a child, would be loud, awkward, stubborn. My laugh was (is) loud- I didn't know how beautiful it was. People have commented on my giggle for as long as I can remember- I didn't realize it was in such a good way. I heard words like "passionate" and "full of life" as code for "obstinate" and "obnoxious." I have been wrong. Those words that people used- meant to sound like good things- really Were Good things.

I thought I was a large child. I have no idea why I thought that- my frame was long, delicate, and graceful. I had a soft, sweet voice that spoke kind and gentle words. When I got really excited and couldn't contain myself it was a delightful, joyful expression of a beautiful soul.

Obviously I wasn't a perfect child (I have to assume ;-)), but I had no idea until today how lovely a little girl I was. I cried. The heart that I have known was beautiful (I know it because I know the passion that I had for God and the tremendous love and open trust I have always had for people) was not hidden beneath an obnoxious exterior as I had thought it was. People have told me that I was delightful (my Mother included- all the time!), but I didn't know it was true.

I love that God let me see myself as He has seen me- as I was and as I am. Lovely.