Charming Little Girl...

Well I've been watching a lot of old family videos today and yesterday (my parents are burning them to DVD, and they've been playing non-stop since the project began).

I've been shocked. Amazed. In disbelief.

I had No Idea what a charming, delightful, feminine, sensitive, beautiful little girl I was. I have always known that I am different. The words I would generally use to describe myself, especially as a child, would be loud, awkward, stubborn. My laugh was (is) loud- I didn't know how beautiful it was. People have commented on my giggle for as long as I can remember- I didn't realize it was in such a good way. I heard words like "passionate" and "full of life" as code for "obstinate" and "obnoxious." I have been wrong. Those words that people used- meant to sound like good things- really Were Good things.

I thought I was a large child. I have no idea why I thought that- my frame was long, delicate, and graceful. I had a soft, sweet voice that spoke kind and gentle words. When I got really excited and couldn't contain myself it was a delightful, joyful expression of a beautiful soul.

Obviously I wasn't a perfect child (I have to assume ;-)), but I had no idea until today how lovely a little girl I was. I cried. The heart that I have known was beautiful (I know it because I know the passion that I had for God and the tremendous love and open trust I have always had for people) was not hidden beneath an obnoxious exterior as I had thought it was. People have told me that I was delightful (my Mother included- all the time!), but I didn't know it was true.

I love that God let me see myself as He has seen me- as I was and as I am. Lovely.

Itching Fingers

So I'm desperate to blog- I've got itching fingers... now I just need to come up with something profound to say.

Children are an heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is His reward! I'm beginning to see what this means- just beginning, mind you, but it is amazing.

Baby #2 appears to be thriving. "He" is squirming and kicking so much, and it thrills me every time I feel him move. Because of the potential for complications (due to my diabetes) I have a pre-natal with full ultrasound every 4 weeks. I love seeing the little person in there! (He just moved). It also draws me to pray for safety for the little one as long term effects of multiple ultrasounds on a pre-born child is largely unstudied. Being a parent takes so much faith!

Jonathan David is the most precious child currently walking the earth. His golden locks curl delightfully around his porcelain face, perfectly framing his open, pure blue eyes and flushed pink lips and cheeks. His dark, curled lashes are as long as mine, adding to his effortless perfection.
He bestows love without reserve, and receives love without fear. He is unafraid. He is pleased with himself, and unashamed of his needs. He assumes you will love him- not because of what he has done or who he is but because, well, why wouldn't you?

No wonder that God tells us to come to Him like little children, for, "of such is the Kingdom of Heaven." Let us receive God's love, because that is all we have ever known from Him. Make your needs known to God without shame- He will provide for you! Be pleased with who you are- He has made you and is pleased with you! We have done nothing to make God love us, so let us receive His love with joy- there is nothing we can do to lose it!

I am now inspired to write, but I think I would do better to compose more than one post for all the swirling inspiration :-)