altogether Beautiful...

That is what my Jesus is to me. His voice is sweet, and His form is lovely. The most amazing, incomprehensible thing, though, is that I am altogether Beautiful to Him.

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I am a daughter of the King. I am a friend of sinners. I am confident that nothing shall separate me from the love of God. I am seeking a heart after God's own heart. I am righteous in Jesus Christ, apart from the works of the law. I am not ashamed of the Gospel.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Everybody cares

How good are you at getting people to perceive you how you want them too?

I hear, or read, people proclaim all the time, "and I don't care what anybody thinks about it!" Or some variation of the statement. Well if you really didn't care, you wouldn't have to state that, would you? The truth would be self-evident.

No one thinks that they are truly ordinary, and on that point everyone is right.

No one wants to be perceived as week or needy.

Every woman, no matter how "rock n' roll," wants to be beautiful. Period.

Every woman enjoys a tasteful compliment from a good person.

I do believe that we are all hiding something.

I believe that no matter how old or young, how confident or timid, how lovely or plain, how self-enchanted or insecure we (women) are, we desperately want to be discovered. We want someone to dig deep, to draw out our secrets like Solomon's well. We want to be pursued in the same way in which we are exhorted to pursue wisdom in the Proverbs. Just switch the word "wisdom" for "a woman's heart," and you'll have a pretty good idea of how you should seek to know us. I cannot speak for men. :-)

I am aware that the sentences above are not perfectly worded and do not completely convey the meaning I intend. My need to include this statement indicates my insecurity.

When we see a very lovely woman full of grace and charm and sophistication surrounded with praise and admiration, we are just a little bit jealous- no matter how enviable our own positions are.

Obviously the statements I am making reflect severely on myself, but I really do think that I speak for many, even most, women (some of whom would probably rather I shut up and keep our secrets to myself).

I was going to state somewhere in here that I have lately felt a deep drawing to become more vulnerable again. I do not like being vulnerable, but it seems as though I am miserable when my heart is kept inside.


Friday, May 14, 2010

So very happy

This is my wonderful family- all of us apparently going in for kisses.

I've noticed lately that I am very happy. I suddenly realized, while talking with a friend, that I Finally have a job that I am absolutely Passionate about. I read books and articles to increase my knowledge, I test new theories and I practice new habits~ all related to my job and all because of the passion I have for it, not out of obligation. I don't get paid and I'm on the job or on call 24/7 but the benefits package is unbelievable. I absolutely Love being a wife and a mommy.

My life is full of diapers and feedings and hugs and kisses. My back is sore most of the time and, despite exercising 1-2 hours a day, I can't lose the 12lbs to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. My life is a joy to live.

I think what I consider to be interesting thoughts throughout the day. I used to post them to facebook but have become increasingly uncomfortable with the information privacy issues surrounding the social networking site.

Side note: M&M's new add campaign is to have viewers vote on their favorite M&M color, and I think it would be funny if it became a veritable political election with Republicans voting Red, Democrats voting Blue, and Environmentalists voting Green.

I'm finding myself close off a little. I'm not interested in being as open and/or vulnerable as I used to be. I write a lot of things and then delete them, either because you don't want to know or because I don't want to tell you.

I called Mars candy company today. I told the customer service rep that I adore Dove chocolates, but I hate the new "promises." Dove Dark Chocolate Promises used to have awesome, womanly statements like "You look good in red." Now they say stupid things like "Always follow your heart, it is never wrong." Are you kidding me?? As I said to the rep- "So if I'm into your husband, I should go for that?" Airheads. The rep was wonderful and I felt better after having called- I've been meaning to do that since July.

It's sleepy time now. In case you've forgotten, I absolutely adore my husband and my son!!